Will My Baby’s Adoptive Parents Really Love Them?

When you’re considering placing your baby for adoption, one of the questions you may have is, “Will my baby’s adoptive parents love him or her as much as they would love their biological child?”

This is a common question asked by prospective birth mothers like you. However, in all of the years we’ve completed adoptions, we’ve found that genetic relationships are not the sole indicator of love; the desire to be a parent and have a child, no matter how they were brought into the family, is the strongest determination of a parent’s love for a baby.

To understand that adoptive parents will love your child like any other child that’s biologically related to them, you need to understand the journey that adoptive parents go through before an adopted child is placed with them.

How Hopeful Parents End Up Choosing Adoption

While there are some adoptive parents who knew adoption was right for them from the beginning, the majority of adoptive parents decide on adoption after going through months or years of infertility and medical treatments. It can be a difficult process, with costly and painful medications and treatments that unfortunately result in failure. In many cases, their parenthood journey has been filled with sadness and grief as they realize that a biological child will not be possible for them.

But, just because prospective adoptive parents may have spent so much time trying to have a biological child does not mean they can only love a biological child.

As prospective parents go through the infertility process, many realize that what’s really important to them is being parents — not having biological children.  No matter how they add a baby to their home, the end goal is to have a child to raise and parent for the rest of their lives, even if the child is not genetically related to them. Once hopeful parents realize this, they begin looking into growing their family through adoption.

For them, adoption offers the opportunity to finally complete a lifelong goal. It’s the light at the end of the tunnel of an emotionally and physically challenging process of infertility — but the adoption process requires just as much work as the infertility process.

Not only do most hopeful parents have to save up for adoption, they must also be prepared to wait to be matched with a prospective birth mother like you. Deciding to start the adoption process, therefore, is not a decision they take likely. They’re willing to commit time, money and effort to add a child to their life — a child they already love enough to do so, even though they haven’t yet met.

Why Adoptive Parents Love Adopted Children Just as Much

When hopeful parents meet their adopted child for the first time, it’s a dream come true. For years, they’ve been waiting to become parents and, even though they’re not genetically related to their child, they can still experience all of the parenting joys they’ve wanted for so long. Finally, they’re parents to a child of their own — a moment they may have thought they’d never experience because of their infertility struggles.

In all the time they’ve been waiting to become parents, they’ve fully prepared to give their child all the love and opportunities they can offer. When a baby is finally placed with them after so many years of disappointment, they don’t take it for granted — they embrace every aspect of parenthood and work hard to be the best parents possible.

Thomas has been an exciting and wonderful addition to our family. He has made our family feel more complete and has brought such joy to all of our lives. Our love for him continues to grow each day in leaps and bounds.​ – Pam, adoptive mom ​

You may wonder, “If they already have biological children, how will I know they’ll love my baby the same?” But having previous biological children does not impact the amount or kind of love that an adoptive parent provides to an adopted child. Even if they already have children, they likely have been waiting just as long and gone through the same infertility struggles to bring another child into their home. It doesn’t matter to them that their second or third child is adopted; in fact, after a time, they don’t even think about the differences in how their children were brought into their family. All that matters to them is that your baby is an equally important member of their family.

When you choose to place your baby for adoption with A Child’s Hope, you can know that a prospective adoptive family will love your baby just as much as they would any other biological child they have. You will get the chance to choose and meet the family you want to adopt your baby, which will give you the opportunity to ask any questions you have — and learn more about why those prospective adoptive parents are excited to add an adopted child to their family.

A parent’s love for their child is one of the strongest emotions there is — and, when it comes to adoption, a lack of genetic relationship doesn’t affect that parental love. To learn more about how A Child’s Hope screens hopeful parents to make sure they’re physically and emotionally ready for adoption, and to start the process of finding parents for your baby today, please call our Pregnancy Hotline: (919) 971-4396, or Text: Pregnant to (919) 971-4396, or email ach@achildshope.com.

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Kelly Dunbar

Adoption Counselor/Homestudy Supervisor - Triangle

As an adoptive parent I truly have a passion for adoption. There is no greater joy than helping to create a family! I love this job and I love working with adoptive parents as well as the birth parents. When it all comes together it is an awesome experience! Kelly is a graduate of NC State University where she earned a Bachelor of Social Work. She also received her Master of Social Work from the University of South Carolina. Kelly has been working with children, families, in the home and in communities for 18 years. Kelly has been working with birth mothers and adoptive parents for the last 5 years.  Besides working, she has a great husband and three fabulous children, Landon, Parker and Ansley. Kelly and her husband adopted their daughter with the help of ACH and feels as though her personal experience helps her relate to other adoptive families.

Sloane Mosley

Greensboro

Sloane completed her undergraduate degree in Human Services Counseling at Old Dominion University and holds a Master's Degree in Social Work from the University of Southern California. Sloane has been working with children, birth mothers and adopting families for more than 10 years. She loves advocating for children and helping women during pregnancy.

Lakisha Brown

Winston-Salem

Lakisha completed her undergraduate degree in Sociology with a concentration in Social Welfare at Winston-Salem State University. She received her Master of Social Work from Syracuse University. Lakisha has worked with children, individuals and families for more than 12 years. Her experience includes working with at-risk youth, homeless children and families, child mental health, as well as school social work and case management. She is also a long-time basketball fan, a former player and coach. She played at Winston-Salem State University and coached women’s basketball at Elon University and Syracuse University. Lakisha and her husband reside in Alamance County, with their young son.

Jessica Otolinsky

Asheville

Jess completed her undergraduate degree in Communication at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown and earned her Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Messiah College. Her professional experience includes case management, education, women’s behavioral health including a focus on pregnant mothers, and working with kinship and domestic adoptive families who have experienced trauma. Jess is a native of central Pennsylvania though loves living in Asheville with her significant other. When she is not working, she is likely caring for her puppy and dog, painting, practicing yoga, camping or planning her next road trip to see family and friends or have an adventure in some new place!

Sylvia Senbel

Charlotte

Sylvia is a graduate of Western Carolina University, where she earned a Bachelor of Social Work. She also received her Master of Social Work from the University of North Carolina. Sylvia has been working with children and families for more than 19 years. She enjoys gardening, reading, hiking, and spending time with her husband and three boys. She also loves animals, especially her dog Jazzy.

Nicole Barnes

Jacksonville

Nicole completed her undergraduate studies at Chowan University in Psychology with a concentration in Alcohol & Drug Studies and a minor in Criminal Justice. Nicole has provided services to adolescents, teens, college students, the Department of Corrections, the Department of Parole and Probation, the NC Division of Motor Vehicles, the Division of Transportation, and the Department of Defense. She is a Certified Alcohol & Drug Counselor and has been working in the mental health field for 15 years.

Suzanne Mangum

Triangle

Suzanne was the primary pregnancy care manager stationed at Duke high-risk perinatal clinic for 20 years. She has a BS in Social Work at UNC Pembroke and is a licensed School Social Worker. She recently worked as a case manager in a substance abuse disorder residential program for women with young children. Suzanne is a “Durhamite” but has resided in Wake County since graduating. Her biggest accomplishment has been happily raising her 14 yo daughter and 3 poodle mixed pups. 

Hope Brown

Triangle

Hope completed her undergraduate degree in Social Work at North Carolina Central University. She has worked with children and families for more than 20 years. Hope experience includes working in foster care, CPS as well as a school social worker. Hope loves exercising, football and spending time with her family. Hope resides in Durham County with her son, daughter and her dog Penny.