If you’re thinking, “I don’t want to be pregnant,” or “I don’t want my baby,” know that you’re not alone. What you’re feeling is completely normal, and there’s no reason to feel guilty about these thoughts. Pregnancy and being a parent can be overwhelming and stressful, and many women have these same exact thoughts at some point. What you need to do is evaluate exactly where these thoughts are coming from and what they mean for you and your baby.
If you don’t want to be pregnant or don’t want your baby, it’s important that you talk to a trained counselor about what you’re feeling before making any decisions. There are a lot of factors that could be playing into your emotions, so a counselor can help you determine exactly what may be making you feel this way — and, therefore, help you decide what you need to do next.
The counselors at A Child’s Hope have worked with many women in your position, and they can counsel you through what to do if you don’t want to be pregnant or don’t want your baby anymore. This counseling will always be free to you, and there’s absolutely no obligation to choose adoption if it’s not the right decision for you. To talk to a counselor in North Carolina today, call our Pregnancy Hotline: (919) 971-4396, or Text: Pregnant to (919) 971-4396, or email ach@achildshope.com.
There are many reasons a woman may be thinking, “I don’t want to be pregnant.” Here are some you may want to consider to determine whether your concerns are serious or just a result of an overwhelming temporary circumstance:
Are You Depressed?
Depression is not uncommon among pregnant woman or new mothers, so if you’re thinking, “I don’t want a baby,” it may be due to antenatal or postpartum depression. If you have any of the following symptoms, you may want to contact a doctor to see whether your negative thoughts and feelings about your pregnancy are due to depression:
- Chronic anxiety or sadness
- Change in appetite or sleep habits
- Inability to concentrate
- Frequent crying
- Mood swings
- Irritability
- Lack of energy
Depression can be serious, so it’s important to reach out to a medical professional if you think you may have this illness. Once it’s properly treated, you may see your pregnancy or parenting prospects from a different prospective. The counselors at A Child’s Hope may be able to help you find an appropriate medical professional.
Are You Ready to be a Parent?
If you’re thinking, “I’m pregnant and don’t want the baby,” you should consider whether you want to be a parent at this point in your life. It’s okay to be pregnant and want to give a baby up for adoption, but before you make this decision, you need to determine whether you’re simply overwhelmed by your unplanned pregnancy or seriously know that you don’t want to be a parent. Unplanned pregnancies can be stressful, but you should take the time to explore all of your options before deciding what’s best for you and your baby.
If you’re not sure whether you want to or are ready to be a parent, ask yourself these questions:
- Am I financially stable enough to raise a child?
- Can I provide my child the kind of life I want for them?
- Do I have any unfinished life goals that I want to achieve before becoming a parent, like graduating college or getting married?
- Do I even want to be a parent?
The counselors at A Child’s Hope are always available to talk you through what you’re feeling and give you the information you need to decide what’s best for you. There’s absolutely no obligation to choose adoption if you contact A Child’s Hope; you are under no pressure to choose anything but the best option for you and your baby.
Are You Considering Adoption?
Whether you’re pregnant and don’t want a baby or you’ve already given birth and are rethinking your parenting decision, adoption is always a possibility for you. However, adoption is a permanent decision, so it’s important to take a step back and try to look at your situation objectively. It’s normal to have fears about pregnancy and becoming a parent, but you’ll need to separate those normal doubts from any more serious doubts you’re having about being a parent.
If you’re not sure if what you’re feeling is simply a result of an overwhelming situation or a real reflection of your inability to parent your child at this time in your life, call A Child’s Hope today. Our counselors can help you understand which of your fears are typical nerves for new and expectant mothers and which doubts may indicate that adoption is the best choice for you and your baby. If you’re pregnant and don’t want to be in North Carolina, we can help you understand the options available to you, including adoption.
Here are some reasons women choose adoption for their baby:
- They can’t provide financially for a child.
- They want their baby to have a two-parent household, and their own situation doesn’t provide for that.
- They cannot provide the kind of life they want their child to have.
- They want to continue pursuing the dreams and life goals they had before they unexpectedly got pregnant.
- They have no desire to be a parent.
Choosing adoption is in no way a selfish choice; it’s a brave decision many women make when they know they can’t be the parent their child deserves. If you’re thinking, “I don’t want to be pregnant,” you may want to consider adoption in North Carolina if parenthood isn’t part of your plan.
Final Thoughts
No one can decide what’s best for you and your baby except you, but the counselors at A Child’s Hope can help walk you through your emotions and give you the information you need to make the best choice for you and your baby. If you’re thinking, “I’m pregnant and don’t want the baby,” you’ll need to try to view your situation objectively and recognize if your doubts and fears are indications that adoption might be the best choice for you. Our counselors can help.
To learn more about what you can do if you’re pregnant and don’t your baby in North Carolina, please contact A Child’s Hope today.
Click a star near where you live on the NC map to see what counselor would be assigned to you
Kelly Dunbar
Adoption Counselor/Homestudy Supervisor - Triangle
As an adoptive parent I truly have a passion for adoption. There is no greater joy than helping to create a family! I love this job and I love working with adoptive parents as well as the birth parents. When it all comes together it is an awesome experience! Kelly is a graduate of NC State University where she earned a Bachelor of Social Work. She also received her Master of Social Work from the University of South Carolina. Kelly has been working with children, families, in the home and in communities for 18 years. Kelly has been working with birth mothers and adoptive parents for the last 5 years. Besides working, she has a great husband and three fabulous children, Landon, Parker and Ansley. Kelly and her husband adopted their daughter with the help of ACH and feels as though her personal experience helps her relate to other adoptive families.
Sloane Mosley
Greensboro
Sloane completed her undergraduate degree in Human Services Counseling at Old Dominion University and holds a Master's Degree in Social Work from the University of Southern California. Sloane has been working with children, birth mothers and adopting families for more than 10 years. She loves advocating for children and helping women during pregnancy.
Lakisha Brown
Winston-Salem
Lakisha completed her undergraduate degree in Sociology with a concentration in Social Welfare at Winston-Salem State University. She received her Master of Social Work from Syracuse University. Lakisha has worked with children, individuals and families for more than 12 years. Her experience includes working with at-risk youth, homeless children and families, child mental health, as well as school social work and case management. She is also a long-time basketball fan, a former player and coach. She played at Winston-Salem State University and coached women’s basketball at Elon University and Syracuse University. Lakisha and her husband reside in Alamance County, with their young son.
Jessica Otolinsky
Asheville
Jess completed her undergraduate degree in Communication at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown and earned her Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Messiah College. Her professional experience includes case management, education, women’s behavioral health including a focus on pregnant mothers, and working with kinship and domestic adoptive families who have experienced trauma. Jess is a native of central Pennsylvania though loves living in Asheville with her significant other. When she is not working, she is likely caring for her puppy and dog, painting, practicing yoga, camping or planning her next road trip to see family and friends or have an adventure in some new place!
Sylvia Senbel
Charlotte
Sylvia is a graduate of Western Carolina University, where she earned a Bachelor of Social Work. She also received her Master of Social Work from the University of North Carolina. Sylvia has been working with children and families for more than 19 years. She enjoys gardening, reading, hiking, and spending time with her husband and three boys. She also loves animals, especially her dog Jazzy.
Nicole Barnes
Jacksonville
Nicole completed her undergraduate studies at Chowan University in Psychology with a concentration in Alcohol & Drug Studies and a minor in Criminal Justice. Nicole has provided services to adolescents, teens, college students, the Department of Corrections, the Department of Parole and Probation, the NC Division of Motor Vehicles, the Division of Transportation, and the Department of Defense. She is a Certified Alcohol & Drug Counselor and has been working in the mental health field for 15 years.
Suzanne Mangum
Triangle
Suzanne was the primary pregnancy care manager stationed at Duke high-risk perinatal clinic for 20 years. She has a BS in Social Work at UNC Pembroke and is a licensed School Social Worker. She recently worked as a case manager in a substance abuse disorder residential program for women with young children. Suzanne is a “Durhamite” but has resided in Wake County since graduating. Her biggest accomplishment has been happily raising her 14 yo daughter and 3 poodle mixed pups.
Hope Brown
Triangle
Hope completed her undergraduate degree in Social Work at North Carolina Central University. She has worked with children and families for more than 20 years. Hope experience includes working in foster care, CPS as well as a school social worker. Hope loves exercising, football and spending time with her family. Hope resides in Durham County with her son, daughter and her dog Penny.
