Are you a prospective birth mother who knows she wants to see her child grow up with their adoptive family but aren’t quite comfortable with the idea of direct communication with the adoptive parents? Semi-open adoption in North Carolina might be the right answer for you.
Semi-open adoption falls under the category of the broader term “open adoption,” but communication is more restrictive and identities are protected in this kind of adoption. Semi-open adoptions are commonly completed when birth mothers and adoptive parents are not willing to share identifying information and prefer to let their adoption professional handle the back-and-forth of communication as the adopted child grows up.
Fortunately, when you work with A Child’s Hope, you won’t have to communicate directly with your baby’s adoptive parents if you don’t want to. While you will have the opportunity to choose and meet the adoptive parents for your baby, any communication you have during the adoption process can be mediated by your individual adoption counselor.
When you call our Pregnancy Hotline: (919) 971-4396, or Text: Pregnant to (919) 971-4396, or email ach@achildshope.com, we can further explain just how your semi-open adoption in North Carolina will work based on your own circumstances. For general information on how a semi-open or semi-closed adoption works, keep reading this article.
What is a Semi-Open Adoption?
Because each adoption is unique, a “semi-open adoption” definition is difficult to determine. However, generally speaking, in a semi-open adoption, birth parents and adoptive families share non-identifying information, including their first names. These relationships often involve pre- and post-placement contact mediated by an adoption professional, including in-person visits before the baby is born and picture and letter exchanges coordinated by the agency following the adoption.
Remember, your personal semi-open adoption communication will be determined by your own preferences. We understand that what works for one birth-mother-adoptive-parent relationship won’t work for another, so we are dedicated to ensuring you are comfortable with your semi-open adoption before moving forward.
How Does a Semi-Open Adoption Work?
When you choose a semi-open adoption in North Carolina, you have the same choices that a birth mother choosing a fully open adoption has, including:
- Choosing an adoption professional that’s best for you
- Choosing an adoptive family that’s best for your baby
- Meeting the adoptive family and making sure they’re the right choice, if you are comfortable doing so
- Creating a hospital plan that you’re comfortable with
- Receiving whatever kind of communication you’re comfortable with after placement
When you tell your adoption counselor you want a semi-open adoption, she’ll walk you through your preferences for communication at every point in your adoption process.
Here’s what you might expect:
Before Placement
Even prospective birth mothers who choose a semi-closed adoption want to choose and meet the family they’re placing their baby with — and that’s absolutely an option for you.
When you choose a semi-open adoption, your adoption counselor will find prospective adoptive families who share your communication preference. Just like birth mothers, adoptive families have different preferences when it comes to contact between each other, and we’ll be able to find you a family that matches your communication preferences perfectly.
Once you view adoptive family profiles and decide that one might be right for you, you will have the chance to meet them in person. However, in a semi-open adoption, you and the prospective adoptive family will not share any identifying information (like last names or addresses), so you will just receive some of the broader information about the family. Many birth mothers find this information is more than enough to decide if a family is right for their baby.
Semi-open adoptions are also called “mediated adoptions” — and here’s why. When you have a conference call and pre-placement meeting with your chosen adoptive family, your adoption counselor will be with you every step of the way, mediating conversation between the two of you. Your counselor will make sure that your identifying information is protected during these meetings.
If you decide you want to stay in contact with the family before placement, A Child’s Hope can continue mediating your communication, or you can both create a special email address or a P.O. Box address solely for adoption communication.
At the Hospital
If you have a semi-open adoption, you may be worried about how your hospital stay will proceed — and how your identifying information will be kept secret. Don’t worry; your adoption counselor will prepare your chosen hospital with the proper protocol for your stay and subsequent relinquishment process.
As the prospective birth mother, you have the right to choose what you want your labor and delivery process to look like. You can choose whether or not you want the adoptive parents to be at the hospital with you, who you want to hold the baby first, how much time you want with your baby alone and more. You will also be able to choose whether you want to be there for your baby’s discharge and the placement of your child with their adoptive family.
After Placement
While your adoption process will be complete at this point, your semi-open adoption communication will continue. Many birth mothers choose to have their adoption counselor mediate any communication between them and the adoptive family after the adoption is complete. The adoptive family will send A Child’s Hope their photos and letters as your baby grows up, and your adoption counselor will pass them along to you. This way, there is no direct contact between you and the adoptive parents unless you want there to be.
If you want to continue direct contact through a more private method like a specific email address or a P.O. Box, your adoption counselor will help start that communication with the adoptive family.
Sometimes, birth mothers and adoptive families become more comfortable with direct communication as time goes by. In these cases, their adoption may become more open. This is certainly an option for you, but if you wish to continue your private, semi-open adoption communication or decrease post-placement contact, you will always have that right.
How Do I Know if Semi-Open Adoption is Right for Me?
The counselors at A Child’s Hope are always more than happy to discuss your adoption options with you, completely for free and with no obligation to choose adoption until you’re sure it’s the right choice for you. We know that every prospective birth mother’s situation is different and that adoption communication often evolves throughout the process as birth mothers and adoptive parents determine what kind of relationship they really want.
If you think you might want a semi-open adoption in North Carolina for you and your baby, contact us today to learn more about what your adoption process might be like.
Click a star near where you live on the NC map to see what counselor would be assigned to you.
Kelly Dunbar
Adoption Counselor/Homestudy Supervisor - Triangle
As an adoptive parent I truly have a passion for adoption. There is no greater joy than helping to create a family! I love this job and I love working with adoptive parents as well as the birth parents. When it all comes together it is an awesome experience! Kelly is a graduate of NC State University where she earned a Bachelor of Social Work. She also received her Master of Social Work from the University of South Carolina. Kelly has been working with children, families, in the home and in communities for 18 years. Kelly has been working with birth mothers and adoptive parents for the last 5 years. Besides working, she has a great husband and three fabulous children, Landon, Parker and Ansley. Kelly and her husband adopted their daughter with the help of ACH and feels as though her personal experience helps her relate to other adoptive families.
Sloane Mosley
Greensboro
Sloane completed her undergraduate degree in Human Services Counseling at Old Dominion University and holds a Master's Degree in Social Work from the University of Southern California. Sloane has been working with children, birth mothers and adopting families for more than 10 years. She loves advocating for children and helping women during pregnancy.
Lakisha Brown
Winston-Salem
Lakisha completed her undergraduate degree in Sociology with a concentration in Social Welfare at Winston-Salem State University. She received her Master of Social Work from Syracuse University. Lakisha has worked with children, individuals and families for more than 12 years. Her experience includes working with at-risk youth, homeless children and families, child mental health, as well as school social work and case management. She is also a long-time basketball fan, a former player and coach. She played at Winston-Salem State University and coached women’s basketball at Elon University and Syracuse University. Lakisha and her husband reside in Alamance County, with their young son.
Jessica Otolinsky
Asheville
Jess completed her undergraduate degree in Communication at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown and earned her Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Messiah College. Her professional experience includes case management, education, women’s behavioral health including a focus on pregnant mothers, and working with kinship and domestic adoptive families who have experienced trauma. Jess is a native of central Pennsylvania though loves living in Asheville with her significant other. When she is not working, she is likely caring for her puppy and dog, painting, practicing yoga, camping or planning her next road trip to see family and friends or have an adventure in some new place!
Sylvia Senbel
Charlotte
Sylvia is a graduate of Western Carolina University, where she earned a Bachelor of Social Work. She also received her Master of Social Work from the University of North Carolina. Sylvia has been working with children and families for more than 19 years. She enjoys gardening, reading, hiking, and spending time with her husband and three boys. She also loves animals, especially her dog Jazzy.
Nicole Barnes
Jacksonville
Nicole completed her undergraduate studies at Chowan University in Psychology with a concentration in Alcohol & Drug Studies and a minor in Criminal Justice. Nicole has provided services to adolescents, teens, college students, the Department of Corrections, the Department of Parole and Probation, the NC Division of Motor Vehicles, the Division of Transportation, and the Department of Defense. She is a Certified Alcohol & Drug Counselor and has been working in the mental health field for 15 years.
Suzanne Mangum
Triangle
Suzanne was the primary pregnancy care manager stationed at Duke high-risk perinatal clinic for 20 years. She has a BS in Social Work at UNC Pembroke and is a licensed School Social Worker. She recently worked as a case manager in a substance abuse disorder residential program for women with young children. Suzanne is a “Durhamite” but has resided in Wake County since graduating. Her biggest accomplishment has been happily raising her 14 yo daughter and 3 poodle mixed pups.
Hope Brown
Triangle
Hope completed her undergraduate degree in Social Work at North Carolina Central University. She has worked with children and families for more than 20 years. Hope experience includes working in foster care, CPS as well as a school social worker. Hope loves exercising, football and spending time with her family. Hope resides in Durham County with her son, daughter and her dog Penny.
