When it comes to placing a child for adoption in North Carolina, an ideal situation includes a supportive prospective birth father who is involved every step of the way. While many prospective birth mothers who work with us don’t have their baby’s father involved in the adoption process, there are also many women who go through the adoption process with their baby’s father by their side.
Many prospective birth mothers choose adoption because they already have children and understand that they aren’t currently in a position to raise another — and, in many cases, they’re in committed relationships with or married to their baby’s father. Together, they make the adoption decision for the best of their unborn child. If your baby’s father supports your adoption plan, he can be as involved in the adoption process as you want him to be, including:
- Helping you make important decisions about the type of adoption situations you are interested in
- Reviewing adoptive family profiles with you
- Coming to your match meeting and engaging in pre-placement contact with the adoptive parents
- Accompanying you to the hospital and being involved in your birth plan
- Keeping in touch with the adoptive family through open or semi-open adoption
While there are many reasons why it may be difficult to include the birth father in the adoption process, you can also contact A Child’s Hope if you are married or have a positive relationship with your baby’s father. It is not uncommon for couples to choose adoption together, and having the support of your baby’s father can simplify the adoption process.
If You’re Married to or in a Committed Relationship with Your Baby’s Father
It’s not uncommon for married couples or life partners to face unplanned pregnancies, and many end up choosing adoption together for the best interest of their baby. You do not have to raise a child just because you’re married or in a committed relationship; you should always do what’s best for them, even if it means placing them with an adoptive family. While it may be a difficult decision to make, you and your baby’s father may choose together to place your baby for adoption.
Having your baby’s father involved in the adoption process can be invaluable — he’ll not only be able to provide you emotional support throughout the journey but may also provide practical support by taking care of any other children you have while you’re at appointments, providing financial support if you miss work for your pregnancy, and giving you other assistance.
If your baby’s father wants to be involved in the adoption process, your adoption counselor will work with you both from the beginning of the adoption process. You can mutually create an adoption plan that you’re both comfortable with, choose and meet a prospective adoptive family together and both be involved in future open or semi-open adoption contact.
Even if you are married, you will receive all of the same services that a single prospective birth mother receives — but also the added support of your baby’s father throughout the process.
If Your Baby’s Father is Supportive but Uninvolved
In other scenarios, the birth father is supportive but does not want to be involved in the adoption plan. In these cases, the father only needs to meet with your adoption counselor once to give his legal consent to the adoption. In North Carolina, he can give his consent any time before or after the baby is born. There is a seven-day period in which he can revoke his consent. We offer free DNA testing to determine who the birth father is.
You may be disappointed if your baby’s father does not want to be directly involved in the process, but it’s important to remember how special it is for him to be supportive of your decision in the first place. You should make sure to let him know how much his support means to you, even if he is not involved in the adoption process at all.
If you and your baby’s birth father have different preferences for the adoption, that’s okay; your adoption specialist can work with you separately or together to create an adoption plan. For example, if you want more communication with the adoptive family than your baby’s birth father does, we can set up separate contact schedules that meet both of your desires.
If your baby’s father wants no part in your adoption plan, that’s okay, too. Your adoption specialist will work with him to get his necessary legal consent and, if he changes his mind about involvement, will be there for any questions or concerns he has.
We know that each prospective birth mother’s situation with her baby’s birth father is unique, so whether he wants to be involved or not, A Child’s Hope can help. To learn more about the birth father’s involvement in your adoption process, please call our Pregnancy Hotline: (919) 971-4396, or Text: Pregnant to (919) 971-4396, or email ach@achildshope.com.
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Kelly Dunbar
Adoption Counselor/Homestudy Supervisor - Triangle
As an adoptive parent I truly have a passion for adoption. There is no greater joy than helping to create a family! I love this job and I love working with adoptive parents as well as the birth parents. When it all comes together it is an awesome experience! Kelly is a graduate of NC State University where she earned a Bachelor of Social Work. She also received her Master of Social Work from the University of South Carolina. Kelly has been working with children, families, in the home and in communities for 18 years. Kelly has been working with birth mothers and adoptive parents for the last 5 years. Besides working, she has a great husband and three fabulous children, Landon, Parker and Ansley. Kelly and her husband adopted their daughter with the help of ACH and feels as though her personal experience helps her relate to other adoptive families.
Sloane Mosley
Greensboro
Sloane completed her undergraduate degree in Human Services Counseling at Old Dominion University and holds a Master's Degree in Social Work from the University of Southern California. Sloane has been working with children, birth mothers and adopting families for more than 10 years. She loves advocating for children and helping women during pregnancy.
Lakisha Brown
Winston-Salem
Lakisha completed her undergraduate degree in Sociology with a concentration in Social Welfare at Winston-Salem State University. She received her Master of Social Work from Syracuse University. Lakisha has worked with children, individuals and families for more than 12 years. Her experience includes working with at-risk youth, homeless children and families, child mental health, as well as school social work and case management. She is also a long-time basketball fan, a former player and coach. She played at Winston-Salem State University and coached women’s basketball at Elon University and Syracuse University. Lakisha and her husband reside in Alamance County, with their young son.
Jessica Otolinsky
Asheville
Jess completed her undergraduate degree in Communication at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown and earned her Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Messiah College. Her professional experience includes case management, education, women’s behavioral health including a focus on pregnant mothers, and working with kinship and domestic adoptive families who have experienced trauma. Jess is a native of central Pennsylvania though loves living in Asheville with her significant other. When she is not working, she is likely caring for her puppy and dog, painting, practicing yoga, camping or planning her next road trip to see family and friends or have an adventure in some new place!
Sylvia Senbel
Charlotte
Sylvia is a graduate of Western Carolina University, where she earned a Bachelor of Social Work. She also received her Master of Social Work from the University of North Carolina. Sylvia has been working with children and families for more than 19 years. She enjoys gardening, reading, hiking, and spending time with her husband and three boys. She also loves animals, especially her dog Jazzy.
Nicole Barnes
Jacksonville
Nicole completed her undergraduate studies at Chowan University in Psychology with a concentration in Alcohol & Drug Studies and a minor in Criminal Justice. Nicole has provided services to adolescents, teens, college students, the Department of Corrections, the Department of Parole and Probation, the NC Division of Motor Vehicles, the Division of Transportation, and the Department of Defense. She is a Certified Alcohol & Drug Counselor and has been working in the mental health field for 15 years.
Suzanne Mangum
Triangle
Suzanne was the primary pregnancy care manager stationed at Duke high-risk perinatal clinic for 20 years. She has a BS in Social Work at UNC Pembroke and is a licensed School Social Worker. She recently worked as a case manager in a substance abuse disorder residential program for women with young children. Suzanne is a “Durhamite” but has resided in Wake County since graduating. Her biggest accomplishment has been happily raising her 14 yo daughter and 3 poodle mixed pups.
Hope Brown
Triangle
Hope completed her undergraduate degree in Social Work at North Carolina Central University. She has worked with children and families for more than 20 years. Hope experience includes working in foster care, CPS as well as a school social worker. Hope loves exercising, football and spending time with her family. Hope resides in Durham County with her son, daughter and her dog Penny.
