Your Role as a Birth Father in a N.C. Adoption

When you research adoption, a lot of resources come up for women facing an unplanned pregnancy. But, what about available information for prospective birth fathers?

If you’re the father of a baby being placed for adoption, you’re probably wondering what your role is in the process. The good news is that you can be as involved as you want when it comes to your baby’s adoption plan and life with their adoptive family. The adoption counselors at A Child’s Hope can help you understand your legal rights in adoption and provide counseling for whatever emotions you are feeling during this time.

While a birth mother is obviously an important part of the adoption process, we recognize that birth fathers also play an important role in adoption — and deserve just as much attention as the birth mother. That’s why, at A Child’s Hope, we encourage birth fathers to get involved in the adoption process, too.

When you work with your baby’s mother to create an adoption plan, you may get to:

How much or how little you wish to be involved in your baby’s adoption is up to you. Even if you and the birth mother are not in a relationship, you still have a right to be a part of your baby’s adoption process. In fact, many prospective birth mothers are relieved when their baby’s father chooses to be involved in the adoption, and your support and assistance will mean the world to her during this difficult time.

Emotions of a Birth Father

When you find out that a woman you’ve been with is pregnant and placing your baby for adoption, you’ll likely go through some confusing emotions. Many times, prospective birth fathers feel like choosing adoption represents failure, when it’s exactly the opposite.

When you choose adoption for the best interest of your child, there is nothing to be ashamed about — but many men are worried about how the adoption will reflect on them. You may feel like you’ve failed as a father if you can’t care for your baby, and you may think that family and friends will look down on you for not “stepping up” and parenting the child. However, adoption is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Choosing adoption does not mean you are “giving up” as a father; instead, it’s the bravest, most mature choice you can make with the baby’s mother. Choosing to support your baby’s mother and her decision during this time in her life is the most responsible thing you can do. Recognizing that an adoptive family can provide a better life for your unborn baby is not an easy thing to do, but it’s the mark of a true father who’s considering what’s best for his child.

Getting to this decision can be difficult, which is why A Child’s Hope offers free counseling services to help you through any conflicting or difficult emotions you’re experiencing before, during and after the adoption process. We can also mediate your adoption planning with the prospective birth mother so that you can make an adoption plan that you’re both comfortable and happy with. For example, if you’re worried because you want more contact with your child than their mother does, we can make sure you receive the kind of contact you want, even if your baby’s mother doesn’t.

Choosing adoption isn’t always easy, and the process isn’t any easier because you’re not the one who’s pregnant. However, know that you can be involved in your baby’s adoption process and be a responsible birth father — one that your child will respect and love as they grow up and understand your decision.

To learn more about your rights as a birth father and how you can get involved in your baby’s adoption, please call our Pregnancy Hotline: (919) 971-4396, or Text: Pregnant to (919) 971-4396, or email

Click a star near where you live on the NC map to see what counselor would be assigned to you

Birthmother Hotline: (877) 890-4673

Envia Un Texto: (919) 218-6270

Text: Pregnant to (919) 971-4396