What if Friends and Family Don’t Support Your Adoption?

In an ideal world, every prospective birth mother choosing adoption would be supported by her family and friends, who would recognize that adoption is the best choice for all involved.  However, this is not always the case.

If you’re a pregnant woman whose family and friends don’t support your adoption decision, you need to know that you can still move forward with your adoption process. You are the only person who can decide if adoption is right for you, and your friends and family cannot stop you placing your baby for adoption, even if they disagree with it.

It may be difficult to move forward with your adoption without the support of your family and friends, but when you work with A Child’s Hope, you will have a great support system in the form of your adoption counselor. She will work with you from the beginning to the end of your adoption process, even being there for support after your child is placed with their new adoptive family. To be matched with a counselor for free (and with no obligation to choose adoption until you’re ready), please call 877-890-4673, text PREGNANT to 919-971-4396 or email ach@achildshope.com.

However, we understand how emotionally challenging it can be to place your baby for adoption when those who matter most to you don’t support your decision. You may wonder how you can get unsupportive friends and family members to change their mind about your adoption. With most cases, it’s as simple as educating them about the realities of modern adoptions.

Sometimes, when people think of adoption, they only think of the closed adoptions that were common in the 1960s and 1970s. To them, adoption may only mean something negative — but, when you take the chance to explain the actual benefits of adoption, they will usually see your decision in an entirely different light.

You can always talk to your adoption counselor about how to best explain your adoption decision to your family, but here are some things you might want to emphasize when you’re talking to unsupportive family and friends:

  • Your adoption decision is entirely your own. Sometimes, people may hear stories of birth mothers who were coerced into adoption, and your family may be concerned that adoption is something you’ll regret later. Let them know that this is entirely your choice, that you always have the ability to change your mind, and you’ve thought long and hard about all of your unplanned pregnancy options before deciding adoption was right for you.
  • You are in charge of your adoption process the whole way through. Many people may not know all of the positive options available to prospective birth mothers today. Explain that you will be able to choose and meet the perfect adoptive family for your baby, receive financial assistance (that in no way obligates you to choose adoption), choose how much contact you want with the adoptive family and more. Make sure they understand that you’re not just a passive witness to your adoption process; your decisions affect every part of it.
  • You are not “giving up” your baby. While your friends or family may see your decision as “giving up” on being a mother to your child, you need to explain that adoption is exactly the opposite — it’s you choosing to give your child the best opportunities in life, which you cannot provide yourself. Adoption not only gives your child the best chance at a stable, supportive home, but it also gives you the chance to continue pursuing your dreams and goals to make your own life the best it can be. When your family and friends see how positive adoption is for both of you, they’ll likely understand your situation with more empathy.

Of course, all family situations are different, and some family members may not change their mind, no matter how hard you try. While this can be difficult, know that you can continue with your adoption plan without them; try to surround yourself with the friends and family who are supportive of your decision instead.

Remember, your adoption counselor will always be there to provide any support you need during your adoption process, as well. If you have questions about how to approach any unsupportive friends or family members about your unplanned pregnancy or adoption plan, please contact us today for our free adoption support.

Click a star near where you live on the NC map to see what counselor would be assigned to you.

Birthmother Hotline: (877) 890-4673

Envia Un Texto: (919) 218-6270

Text: Pregnant to (919) 971-4396