What if You’re Being Pressured to Put a Baby Up for Adoption?

When you find out you’re unexpectedly pregnant, you may not be sure of what to do right away. When you’re being pressured to put a baby up for adoption, raise a baby or get an abortion by people you know, that decision can be even more difficult to make.

If you’re being told what to do and wondering, “Do I have to put my baby up for adoption/parent them/choose an abortion?’ you need to know that this choice is entirely up to you. It can be difficult to go against the wishes of friends and family members, but you are the only one who can decide what’s right for you and your baby. No one else fully understands your situation like you do, which is why you’ll need to do as much research about all of your unplanned pregnancy options before deciding what’s right for you.

If you’re being pressured to put a baby up for adoption or to choose parenting or abortion, our counselors at A Child’s Hope can help. We can answer whatever questions you have about any of your options absolutely for free (and with no obligation to choose adoption) if you call us at 877-890-4673, text PREGNANT to 919-971-4396 or email ach@achildshope.com.

We can also give you advice on how to talk to your family and friends about your unplanned pregnancy and whatever choice you make. If you’re feeling pressured to put a baby up for adoption or to choose parenting or abortion, here are some steps you can take to make sure that the decision you make is the best one for you:

1. Be Clear in Asking for Support, Not Opinions

When you tell people about your unplanned pregnancy, they may think that giving you advice is the best support they can offer — but it instead may make you feel pressured into a certain decision. Make sure that your family and friends understand you need emotional support, not support in making a decision. Remember, there is a big difference between a respectful family member providing emotional support and one that tries to sway your decision one way or another, even when you know it’s not right for you and your baby.

If you feel like someone is pressuring you, be strong and stand up for your right to choose what’s best for you. Remind them that, even though you appreciate their concern, this is a decision that only you can make. If the pressure you’re under begins to feel like a dangerous situation where that person will react abusively should you go against their wishes, contact us right away or call the Compass Center for Women and Families at 919-929-7122.

2. Be Aware of Your Birth Mother Rights

As a pregnant woman, you are the only one who can place a child for adoption, choose to parent them or get an abortion. Even if you’re being pressured to put a baby up for adoption or get an abortion, these processes cannot legally take place without your express consent.

When it comes to adoption, you have even more rights. You have the right to choose the perfect family for your baby, the right to determine what kind of relationship you want with them, the right to decide what your hospital stay will look like and more. You are in charge of your adoption process at all times and, if you ever feel uncomfortable or pressured into a certain decision, you can always make the changes you want. You never have to consent to an adoption before you’re ready; the North Carolina consent laws make sure you are informed of your rights and require you to voluntarily place your child for adoption. If you felt you were lied to, pressured or coerced into your adoption consent, a lawyer will work with you to help you understand your legal rights.

3. Work with a Professional

Navigating an unplanned pregnancy by yourself can be scary, especially if you’re not sure what to do and are feeling pressured into one decision or another. That’s why it’s so important to reach out to a qualified professional for more information about all of your unplanned pregnancy options. Many professionals, like A Child’s Hope, will provide you free advice with no obligation to choose adoption unless you’re absolutely sure it’s the right decision for you.

While friends and family members may offer up well-meaning advice for you, some of it may be inaccurate and intended to sway you one way or another. A Child’s Hope, however, will only provide you factual, objective information about all of your choices. We understand that adoption is not the perfect solution for everyone, which is why we’ll help you determine what option is right for you, no matter what you end up choosing.

While it is very important to have a support system for your adoption, it’s also important to recognize when support from your friends and family is not helpful to your decision-making process. Remember, you are the only one who can decide what unplanned pregnancy option is right for you — but A Child’s Hope can help you in that decision-making process. To learn more, please call our counselors at 877-890-4637, text PREGNANT to 919-971-4396 or email ach@achildshope.com.

Click a star near where you live on the NC map to see what counselor would be assigned to you.

Kelly Dunbar

Triangle

As an adoptive parent I truly have a passion for adoption. There is no greater joy than helping to create a family! I love this job and I love working with adoptive parents as well as the birth parents. When it all comes together it is an awesome experience!

Rebecca Anderson

New Bern

Rebecca Ann Anderson serves the coastal communities. Rebecca graduated from American University with degrees in political science and literature. She received her Masters in Science and Mental Health Counseling from Walden University. She also completed two years of Law School at the University of Baltimore. While clerking for an Adoption Lawyer she found her calling. Rebecca resides in New Bern with her husband and two miniature dachshunds, Sweet Thing and Coco Weenie.

Sloane Mosley

Greensboro

Sloane completed her undergraduate degree in Human Services Counseling at Old Dominion University. She is currently pursuing a Masters Degree in Social Work from the University of Southern California through the Virtual Academic Center, to be completed in August 2015. Sloane has been working in the social work field for about 8 years, working with children and families. She loves advocating for children!

Lakisha Brown

Winston Salem

Lakisha completed her undergraduate degree in Sociology with a concentration in Social Welfare at Winston-Salem State University. She received her Master’s in Social Work from Syracuse University. Lakisha has worked with children, individuals and families for 11 years. Her experience includes, working with at risk youth, children and homeless families, case management, child mental health, as well as school social work. She is also a long-time basketball fan, and is a former player and coach. She played at Winston-Salem State University and coached women’s basketball at Elon University and Syracuse University. Lakisha and her husband reside in Alamance County, with their young son.

Katherine Fitzsimmons

Triangle

Katherine completed her undergraduate degree in Sociology at St. Bonaventure University and earned her Master’s in Social Work degree from Binghamton University. Her passion is working with and advocating for women, youth, and children. She has worked for more than 10 years facilitating kinship, international, and domestic adoptions; eight of those years were working for the Independent Adoption Center here in Raleigh. Katherine also has a background in crisis management in a hospital setting. When she is not working, she can be found volunteering at her sons’ school, exploring the Raleigh-Durham area, or baking yummy sweets!!

Gloria Curry

Asheville

Gloria received a Bachelor of Science Degree in Education from St. Leo College. She earned a Master of Science degree from the University of Florida in Family, Youth and Community Science. Gloria has worked with children and families as an educator, mental health counselor and social worker. Gloria facilitated adoptions and foster care placements. She observed the remarkable courage, compassion and commitment of birth families who strive to ensure their child has the opportunity to achieve their potential. Gloria witnessed the dedication adoptive families have in providing care for the child. Gloria lives in Henderson County. She is an avid gardener, reader and loves to explore the mountains of western North Carolina.

Danielle Sample-Raggins

Charlotte

Danielle earned her Masters in Professional Counseling at Liberty University. She is pursing her Doctorate Degree in Traumatology, with the expectation of completion this year. Danielle began her career while in college, by serving as a counselor for teen girls in a residential setting, that were placing their children for adoption. She went on to work as a Foster Care and Adoptions Social Worker. She is also a Therapist and Parenting Educator with individuals, children and their families. She has continued this work for the last 16 years. Outside of working, Danielle loves spending time going to the park, playing board games or just spending time with her three wonderful kiddos; Shaun, Lauson, and Laurielle.

Melanie Spainhour

Triangle - Bi-lingual

Melanie is excited to be working with A Child's Hope in the Raleigh area. She received her Master of Social Work degree from East Carolina University (Go Pirates!) and her Bachelor of Social Work degree from NC State University (GO PACK!). Melanie has worked with children and families, school systems and local communities, primarily focusing on the Latino community. She loves spending time with her husband, three daughters and taking trips to the beach!