What if You’re Being Pressured to Put a Baby Up for Adoption?

When you find out you’re unexpectedly pregnant, you may not be sure of what to do right away. When you’re being pressured to put a baby up for adoption, raise a baby or get an abortion by people you know, that decision can be even more difficult to make.

If you’re being told what to do and wondering, “Do I have to put my baby up for adoption/parent them/choose an abortion?’ you need to know that this choice is entirely up to you. It can be difficult to go against the wishes of friends and family members, but you are the only one who can decide what’s right for you and your baby. No one else fully understands your situation like you do, which is why you’ll need to do as much research about all of your unplanned pregnancy options before deciding what’s right for you.

If you’re being pressured to put a baby up for adoption or to choose parenting or abortion, our counselors at A Child’s Hope can help. We can answer whatever questions you have about any of your options absolutely for free (and with no obligation to choose adoption) if you call us at 877-890-4673, text PREGNANT to 919-971-4396 or email ach@achildshope.com.

We can also give you advice on how to talk to your family and friends about your unplanned pregnancy and whatever choice you make. If you’re feeling pressured to put a baby up for adoption or to choose parenting or abortion, here are some steps you can take to make sure that the decision you make is the best one for you:

1. Be Clear in Asking for Support, Not Opinions

When you tell people about your unplanned pregnancy, they may think that giving you advice is the best support they can offer — but it instead may make you feel pressured into a certain decision. Make sure that your family and friends understand you need emotional support, not support in making a decision. Remember, there is a big difference between a respectful family member providing emotional support and one that tries to sway your decision one way or another, even when you know it’s not right for you and your baby.

If you feel like someone is pressuring you, be strong and stand up for your right to choose what’s best for you. Remind them that, even though you appreciate their concern, this is a decision that only you can make. If the pressure you’re under begins to feel like a dangerous situation where that person will react abusively should you go against their wishes, contact us right away or call the Compass Center for Women and Families at 919-929-7122.

2. Be Aware of Your Birth Mother Rights

As a pregnant woman, you are the only one who can place a child for adoption, choose to parent them or get an abortion. Even if you’re being pressured to put a baby up for adoption or get an abortion, these processes cannot legally take place without your express consent.

When it comes to adoption, you have even more rights. You have the right to choose the perfect family for your baby, the right to determine what kind of relationship you want with them, the right to decide what your hospital stay will look like and more. You are in charge of your adoption process at all times and, if you ever feel uncomfortable or pressured into a certain decision, you can always make the changes you want. You never have to consent to an adoption before you’re ready; the North Carolina consent laws make sure you are informed of your rights and require you to voluntarily place your child for adoption. If you felt you were lied to, pressured or coerced into your adoption consent, a lawyer will work with you to help you understand your legal rights.

3. Work with a Professional

Navigating an unplanned pregnancy by yourself can be scary, especially if you’re not sure what to do and are feeling pressured into one decision or another. That’s why it’s so important to reach out to a qualified professional for more information about all of your unplanned pregnancy options. Many professionals, like A Child’s Hope, will provide you free advice with no obligation to choose adoption unless you’re absolutely sure it’s the right decision for you.

While friends and family members may offer up well-meaning advice for you, some of it may be inaccurate and intended to sway you one way or another. A Child’s Hope, however, will only provide you factual, objective information about all of your choices. We understand that adoption is not the perfect solution for everyone, which is why we’ll help you determine what option is right for you, no matter what you end up choosing.

While it is very important to have a support system for your adoption, it’s also important to recognize when support from your friends and family is not helpful to your decision-making process. Remember, you are the only one who can decide what unplanned pregnancy option is right for you — but A Child’s Hope can help you in that decision-making process. To learn more, please call our counselors at 877-890-4637, text PREGNANT to 919-971-4396 or email ach@achildshope.com.

Click a star near where you live on the NC map to see what counselor would be assigned to you.

Kelly Dunbar

Durham

As an adoptive parent I truly have a passion for adoption. There is no greater joy than helping to create a family! I love this job and I love working with adoptive parents as well as the birth parents. When it all comes together it is an awesome experience!

Brittany Tryzbiak

Brittany obtained her undergraduate degree from Penn State University and was commissioned as an Army officer upon graduation. After serving in Afghanistan and receiving an honorable discharge she earned her Masters of Social Work degree from Indiana University. Brittany is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Associate with experience working with military families, low-income and homeless individuals, and sexual assault survivors. She is the daughter of parents who were each adopted, a military spouse, and the mother of twins.

Jessica Hare

Charlotte

Jessica completed her undergraduate degree in Social Work from Winthrop University. She received her Master’s in Social Work from the University of South Carolina. Jessica has worked with children, individuals and families for 9 years. Her experience includes, working with children that are victims of abuse, neglect, and/or dependency, hospital case management, as well as child mental health. Jessica and her husband reside in Mecklenburg County, with their three beautiful children.

Sloane Mosley

Greensboro

Sloane completed her undergraduate degree in Human Services Counseling at Old Dominion University. She is currently pursuing a Masters Degree in Social Work from the University of Southern California through the Virtual Academic Center, to be completed in August 2015. Sloane has been working in the social work field for about 8 years, working with children and families. She loves advocating for children!

Lakisha Brown

Winston Salem

Lakisha completed her undergraduate degree in Sociology with a concentration in Social Welfare at Winston-Salem State University. She received her Master’s in Social Work from Syracuse University. Lakisha has worked with children, individuals and families for 11 years. Her experience includes, working with at risk youth, children and homeless families, case management, child mental health, as well as school social work. She is also a long-time basketball fan, and is a former player and coach. She played at Winston-Salem State University and coached women’s basketball at Elon University and Syracuse University. Lakisha and her husband reside in Alamance County, with their young son.

Roxanne Rosenberg

Raleigh

Roxanne completed her undergraduate study in Psychology at Yale University. She received her Master’s in Psychology from Duke University. Roxanne has worked with pregnant women, children, and parents for over 9 years. Her areas of specialty include trauma, prenatal mental health, early parenting, and working with ethnically and socioeconomically diverse families. As a counselor and as a guardian ad litem, Roxanne has been a strong advocate for children being placed in their forever homes. Roxanne is also fluent in Spanish!

Gloria Curry

Asheville

Gloria received a Bachelor of Science Degree in Education from St. Leo College. She earned a Master of Science degree from the University of Florida in Family, Youth and Community Science. Gloria has worked with children and families as an educator, mental health counselor and social worker. Gloria facilitated adoptions and foster care placements. She observed the remarkable courage, compassion and commitment of birth families who strive to ensure their child has the opportunity to achieve their potential. Gloria witnessed the dedication adoptive families have in providing care for the child. Gloria lives in Henderson County. She is an avid gardener, reader and loves to explore the mountains of western North Carolina.

Aimee Stockenstroom

Charlotte

Aimee is a graduate of Georgetown College with a Bachelors degree in Psychology. She received her Masters in Social Work from Virginia Commonwealth University. ​Aimee is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Associate with 17 years of experience working with survivors​ of violence​​​. She also has experience working with children placed in foster care and adoption. She loves to travel and try new recipes. She and her husband have two boys and moved to North Carolina two years ago from New Zealand where she lived for six years.