As you’re considering placing your baby for adoption in North Carolina, you’ve likely been told about all the benefits of adoption for you, the adoptive parents and your child. Still, even with all of the positive things that come from adoption, you may wonder: What will my child think of my decision to place them for adoption?
You may be worried that your child won’t understand your decision or, worse, harbor ill feelings toward you. While this is a common fear to have, modern open adoptions have all but eliminated this situation for adoptees. Because many adoptees today are raised with a healthy understanding of their adoption story from the moment they’re born, they love and respect their birth mothers for the difficult choice they made to place them for adoption.
How an Adoptee Feels About Their Adoption and Birth Mother
Today, more than 90 percent of adopted children ages 5 or older have positive feelings about their adoption story. This is largely due to the openness of adoption today; many children are taught about their adoption from the moment they’re born, eliminating any surprise discoveries of the truth (which are typically reasons why adoptees feel anger about their adoption).
In many cases, adoptees even get to have a personal relationship with their birth mother — and this is absolutely something you can choose to do when you place your baby with an adoptive family. This personal relationship allows your child to hear about your reasoning for your adoption decision straight from you, and they’ll respect your bravery to share your story with them, even when it’s difficult at times. Honesty and openness in an adoption is what makes it a positive experience for all, which is why it’s no wonder that 95 percent of adoptions completed today have some degree of openness.
Openness in adoption not only allows for a positive relationship between you and your child, but it also promotes a healthy sense of self-identity for your child. Rather than wonder about their adoption story and family history, adoptees can get answers to their questions and constantly be reassured about their birth parents’ love for them. When adoptees know about their adoption story, they know they weren’t “given up”; instead, their birth parents made the selfless, loving decision to give them their best chance at life possible.
Therefore, the majority of adoptees today have highly positive views of their adoption story — so if you’re worried about what your child will think of you, know that, with the proper open adoption relationship, your child will love and respect you as their birth mother.
How to Ensure a Positive Relationship with the Child You Placed
While open and semi-open adoptions play a large role in your child understanding your adoption decision, how much and what kind of contact you want with them will be up to you. Some birth mothers choose to have a personal relationship with their baby, while others choose to only communicate through photos and letters sent to their baby’s adoptive parents. No matter what kind of communication you’re comfortable with, to ensure that your child respects and loves you for your adoption decision, you should be willing to honestly share your reasoning for adoption with them (either directly or through their adoptive parents). This will play a huge role in maintaining a positive relationship with your child as they grow up.
When you work with A Child’s Hope for your North Carolina adoption, we’ll prepare you for potential challenges in adoption, including navigating a relationship with your child. We know how important it is to you that your child views you with love and positivity, and we will work closely with you and your baby’s adoptive parents to make sure that’s the case. Adoption with A Child’s Hope is not a secret; it’s something we celebrate and encourage all members of the adoption triad to be proud of.
To learn more about how we protect your relationship with the child you place for adoption, or to start the adoption process today, please call our Pregnancy Hotline: (919) 971-4396, or Text: Pregnant to (919) 971-4396, or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
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