How to Build a Great Adoption Support System

When you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption for your baby, one of the most useful resources available to you is a supportive team of friends and family who can be by your side every step of the way.

Adoption can be a tricky process, so having someone to turn to when you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure of what to do is invaluable. And, while you will always have support from your adoption counselor at A Child’s Hope, we also know how important it can be to have the support of your family and friends.

But, how do you decide who to include in your adoption support system, and how exactly can they help you through your adoption process?

This birth mother’s mother and children were all involved in her adoption process.

Who to Include in Your Adoption Support Team

Just like every other part of your adoption process, who you want to include in your adoption support team is up to you. Generally, prospective birth mothers choose to include close family and friends in their support team — but it’s important that the people in an adoption support team will only provide positive support to you.

Every prospective birth mother’s situation is different and so are their adoption support teams. While one birth mother may choose to include only a few members in her adoption support team, another may want to include all of her immediate family members. Either is completely fine, as long as you’re comfortable and that each person you include will only be a positive force in your adoption process. You can also include your baby’s birth father, as well.

What an Adoption Support Team Can Do

Like when deciding who will be in your support team, you will also get to decide how involved you want certain people to be in your adoption. For example, you might have your romantic partner, sibling or best friend be your go-to person who’s there through every step of your adoption process, while an extended family member may just act as support only if you need it.

You can always decide how much involvement is too much, but here are some general ways your support team can help during your adoption process:

• Assisting in practical needs: Every prospective birth mother’s situation is different, so the kind of support you need will be unique to you. Maybe you have children already, so your friends and family can look after them while you’re at doctor’s appointments or meetings with the adoptive family. Pregnancy can be exhausting, so maybe you just need someone to grab you groceries from the store when you’re not feeling up to it. Whatever kind of practical assistance you need from your support team, don’t be afraid to ask for it.
• Be there for emotional support: Adoption is clearly an emotional process for all involved. While you will always have free, professional counseling from your specialist at A Child’s Hope, you may also wish to confide your feelings to someone close to you. You’ll likely go through a range of emotions during your pregnancy and adoption, both positive and negative, so make sure whomever you speak to about this can be neutral and listen patiently, rather than try to offer well-meaning but unwanted advice or try to pressure you into changing your mind.
• Offer help however they can: For most prospective birth mothers, simply having someone to talk to about their adoption process is an immense asset. Remember, however, that many people don’t understand exactly how adoption works, so they may have well-meaning advice that comes off differently to you as a birth mother. This may be the only way they think they can help, but it may not always be helpful. Recognize that they are trying to help the only way they can and be patient; remind them how important their support is to you but, if they upset you in any way, make sure to address it and move on. Often, they will quickly correct that mistake.

Your Adoption Counselor as Part of Your Support Team

While your family and friends will play a key role in your adoption support team, you should remember that your adoption counselor at A Child’s Hope will always be there for whatever assistance, advice and support you may need.  If you’re unsure of how to approach family and friends about your adoption and being a part of your support system, your counselor can help you prepare for these conversations. If you don’t have supportive friends or family to confide in, your adoption counselor can be the key figure you lean on during your adoption process in North Carolina.

You can receive free, no obligation counseling from A Child’s Hope even if you’re not sure adoption is the right choice for you. Call us today at  our Pregnancy Hotline: (919) 971-4396, or Text: Pregnant to (919) 971-4396, or email ach@achildshope.com.

Click a star near where you live on the NC map to see what counselor would be assigned to you.

Kelly Dunbar

Triangle

As an adoptive parent I truly have a passion for adoption. There is no greater joy than helping to create a family! I love this job and I love working with adoptive parents as well as the birth parents. When it all comes together it is an awesome experience!

Sloane Mosley

Greensboro

Sloane completed her undergraduate degree in Human Services Counseling at Old Dominion University and holds a Master's Degree in Social Work from the University of Southern California. Sloane has been working with children, birth mothers and adopting families for more than 10 years. She loves advocating for children and helping women during pregnancy.

Lakisha Brown

Winston Salem

Lakisha completed her undergraduate degree in Sociology with a concentration in Social Welfare at Winston-Salem State University. She received her Master’s in Social Work from Syracuse University. Lakisha has worked with children, individuals and families for more than 12 years. Her experience includes working with at-risk youth, homeless children and families, child mental health, as well as school social work and case management. She is also a long-time basketball fan, a former player and coach. She played at Winston-Salem State University and coached women’s basketball at Elon University and Syracuse University. Lakisha and her husband reside in Alamance County, with their young son.

Katherine Fitzsimmons

Triangle

Katherine completed her undergraduate degree in Sociology at St. Bonaventure University and earned her Master’s in Social Work degree from Binghamton University. Her passion is working with and advocating for women, youth, and children. She has worked for more than 10 years facilitating kinship, international, and domestic adoptions; eight of those years were working for the Independent Adoption Center here in Raleigh. Katherine also has a background in crisis management in a hospital setting. When she is not working, she can be found volunteering at her sons’ school, exploring the Raleigh-Durham area, or baking yummy sweets!!

Jessica Otolinsky

Asheville

Jess completed her undergraduate degree in Communication at University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown and earned her Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Messiah College. Her professional experience includes case management, education, women’s behavioral health including a focus on pregnant mothers, and working with kinship and domestic adoptive families who have experienced trauma. Jess is a native of central Pennsylvania though loves living in Asheville with her significant other. When she is not working, she is likely caring for her puppy and dog, painting, practicing yoga, camping or planning her next road trip to see family and friends or have an adventure in some new place!

Melanie Spainhour

Triangle - Bi-lingual

Melanie is excited to be working with A Child's Hope in the Raleigh area. She received her Master of Social Work degree from East Carolina University (Go Pirates!) and her Bachelor of Social Work degree from NC State University (GO PACK!). Melanie has worked with children and families, school systems and local communities, primarily focusing on the Latino community. She loves spending time with her husband, three daughters and taking trips to the beach!

Sylvia Senbel

Charlotte

Sylvia is a graduate of Western Carolina University, where she earned a Bachelor's in Social Work. She also received her Masters in Social Work from the University of North Carolina. Sylvia has been working with children and famalies for more than 19 years. She enjoys gardening, reading, hiking, and spending time with her husband and three boys. She also loves animals, especially her dog Jazzy.

Rachelle Garren

I am originally from Pennsylvania but moved to North Carolina 6 years ago. I have a two-year-old son, 2 dogs, and a cat! I got my undergraduate degree in psychology at Misericordia University in Pennsylvania. I earned my Masters degree in Social work from the University of North Carolina at Wilmington. I have worked with children in a preschool setting for three years and worked with children and families for the last year as a therapist. Most of my experience is with children and adults who experienced trauma or substance use problems. I am very excited to be working with the adoption agency!