You know you have three basic choices if you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy: parenting, adoption or abortion. But, if you know you’re only interested in alternatives to abortion in North Carolina, it may make your decision process a little easier.
While your two alternatives to abortion are parenting and adoption, there are several options within each of those choices that you can also consider. Remember, you are the only one who can decide what is best for you and your unborn child, so it’s important that you be as educated as possible about each of your abortion alternatives before making a decision that will change your life.
You may be overwhelmed and emotionally vulnerable at this point in your pregnancy, but it’s crucial that you approach your alternative options to abortion in North Carolina with a clear head and plenty of background research. Only when you do this can you make the best choice for you and your unborn child. If you want to talk to someone about your situation, you can always call a counselor at A Child’s Hope for free at 877-890-4673. We understand that each woman’s situation is unique, so we’ll help give you in the information and support you need to move forward with your unplanned pregnancy.
To start, we’ll give you some basic information about the options other than abortion that you have for your unwanted pregnancy:
Parenting
Choosing to raise your child is a decision that will greatly impact your future. By becoming a parent, you commit to putting your child’s needs ahead of your own for the rest of their life. You may need to put a hold on your own career, educational or life goals to make your child’s health and happiness a priority. Parenting isn’t easy every step of the way and it can be very expensive, but many parents find these trade-offs well worth it.
If you’re considering parenting as an alternative to abortion, you should know there are several ways you can raise your child.
- Co-parenting with the birth father: If you want to parent your child and are on good terms with your baby’s father, you may be able to raise your child together. In fact, this is a good option if you want to parent; having a partner in the parenting process will help alleviate the financial stress, time and energy needed to raise a baby. However, make sure you don’t rush into a long-term relationship or partnership you’re not ready for because of your unplanned pregnancy. Once you choose to raise a child with someone, you’re connected forever.
- Single parenting: If the birth father isn’t in the picture, you always have the option of raising your child on your own. However, this will present some challenges, as you will be the only one you can rely on for help. If you think you can afford the money, time and energy it takes to raise a child, you can choose to raise your baby by yourself, and you won’t be alone — 26 percent of children in the U.S. today are living with a single parent.
- Temporary custody: Although you cannot establish a temporary guardianship for minors in North Carolina, you may be able to create a temporary custody agreement if you need time to find a better living arrangement, finish school or find a job before you can resume full parental duties for your child. You’ll need to contact an attorney to prepare this kind of agreement, which will allow for your child to be cared for by others (like family members or friends) without terminating your own parental rights.
Parenting is a commitment you should only make if you are absolutely sure you’re financially and emotionally ready. If you’re not sure, you can talk to one of our adoption counselors about your individual situation and if parenting is a possibility for you as an alternative pregnancy option.
Birth mother Stephanie chose Josh and Chris to adopt sweet baby James.
Adoption
If you’re considering adoption as an alternative to abortion, you should know that placing your child for adoption will not be the easiest emotional decision to make — but, for many women not ready to parent, it ends up being the best choice for their newborn baby.
When you’re considering abortion alternatives, choosing adoption allows you to watch your child grow up in a supportive, loving family while simultaneously pursuing the dreams that you have for yourself. Many birth mothers experience the same sense of pride that they would if they were raising their child themselves, as well as the happiness in knowing they gave their child the best life possible.
There are two main ways that you can choose to place your child for adoption:
- Adoption with a friend or family member: While it may seem like a win-win to place your child with someone you already know, there are some unique challenges that will come with this kind of adoption situation. Just because you know the adoptive parents and may see them often doesn’t mean you will be involved in any parenting decisions. And for some women, having a constant reminder of their adoption decision can make the healing process more difficult. Before choosing to place your child with a family member, it’s important you consider the consequences of this choice on your own life.
- Adoption through an agency: Adoption with an agency offers many advantages that parenting cannot. Not only is adoption free for a pregnant mother, but the adoptive family your child will live with is financially and emotionally prepared to raise an adopted child. You even get to choose who this family is and meet them before completing the adoption. Many women find support and reassurance at this difficult time in their life by adopting through an agency like A Child’s Hope.
Choosing between your options instead of abortion in North Carolina is not usually a decision that will happen overnight — and it’s completely okay to take as much time as you need to make the perfect decision for you. While you are ultimately the only one who can decide what’s right, A Child’s Hope can help. You can talk to an adoption specialist for free at any time on our birth mother hotline at 877-890-4673 — or by texting PREGNANT to 919-971-4396 or emailing ach@achildshope.com — and we’ll provide you the information you need about your alternatives to abortion in North Carolina to make an educated decision.
Remember, no matter where you are at in your pregnancy, it’s never too late to choose adoption or parenting. Here at A Child’s Hope, we just want to make sure you’re comfortable with your decision every step of the way.
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Kelly Dunbar
Adoption Counselor/Homestudy Supervisor - Triangle
As an adoptive parent I truly have a passion for adoption. There is no greater joy than helping to create a family! I love this job and I love working with adoptive parents as well as the birth parents. When it all comes together it is an awesome experience! Kelly is a graduate of NC State University where she earned a Bachelor of Social Work. She also received her Master of Social Work from the University of South Carolina. Kelly has been working with children, families, in the home and in communities for 18 years. Kelly has been working with birth mothers and adoptive parents for the last 5 years. Besides working, she has a great husband and three fabulous children, Landon, Parker and Ansley. Kelly and her husband adopted their daughter with the help of ACH and feels as though her personal experience helps her relate to other adoptive families.
Sloane Mosley
Greensboro
Sloane completed her undergraduate degree in Human Services Counseling at Old Dominion University and holds a Master's Degree in Social Work from the University of Southern California. Sloane has been working with children, birth mothers and adopting families for more than 10 years. She loves advocating for children and helping women during pregnancy.
Lakisha Brown
Winston-Salem
Lakisha completed her undergraduate degree in Sociology with a concentration in Social Welfare at Winston-Salem State University. She received her Master of Social Work from Syracuse University. Lakisha has worked with children, individuals and families for more than 12 years. Her experience includes working with at-risk youth, homeless children and families, child mental health, as well as school social work and case management. She is also a long-time basketball fan, a former player and coach. She played at Winston-Salem State University and coached women’s basketball at Elon University and Syracuse University. Lakisha and her husband reside in Alamance County, with their young son.
Jessica Otolinsky
Asheville
Jess completed her undergraduate degree in Communication at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown and earned her Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Messiah College. Her professional experience includes case management, education, women’s behavioral health including a focus on pregnant mothers, and working with kinship and domestic adoptive families who have experienced trauma. Jess is a native of central Pennsylvania though loves living in Asheville with her significant other. When she is not working, she is likely caring for her puppy and dog, painting, practicing yoga, camping or planning her next road trip to see family and friends or have an adventure in some new place!
Sylvia Senbel
Charlotte
Sylvia is a graduate of Western Carolina University, where she earned a Bachelor of Social Work. She also received her Master of Social Work from the University of North Carolina. Sylvia has been working with children and families for more than 19 years. She enjoys gardening, reading, hiking, and spending time with her husband and three boys. She also loves animals, especially her dog Jazzy.
Nicole Barnes
Jacksonville
Nicole completed her undergraduate studies at Chowan University in Psychology with a concentration in Alcohol & Drug Studies and a minor in Criminal Justice. Nicole has provided services to adolescents, teens, college students, the Department of Corrections, the Department of Parole and Probation, the NC Division of Motor Vehicles, the Division of Transportation, and the Department of Defense. She is a Certified Alcohol & Drug Counselor and has been working in the mental health field for 15 years.
Suzanne Mangum
Triangle
Suzanne was the primary pregnancy care manager stationed at Duke high-risk perinatal clinic for 20 years. She has a BS in Social Work at UNC Pembroke and is a licensed School Social Worker. She recently worked as a case manager in a substance abuse disorder residential program for women with young children. Suzanne is a “Durhamite” but has resided in Wake County since graduating. Her biggest accomplishment has been happily raising her 14 yo daughter and 3 poodle mixed pups.
