It’s a natural reaction to an unplanned pregnancy: “I don’t want to be pregnant,” or even “I don’t want my baby.”
If you don’t want to be pregnant or feel that you aren’t ready to be a parent, you do have options.
As a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy, you are the only person who knows what is right for you and your baby. No one — not your parents, friends, the baby’s father or your adoption counselor — can tell you what to think or how to feel about abortion vs. adoption.
When you contact A Child’s Hope, your adoption counselor will discuss your options with you and help you make the choice that is best for yourself and your baby. We have locations locally throughout North Carolina from Charlotte to Asheville to Raleigh and the Triad. We have worked with hundreds of women in situations like yours, and we have information that may help you make a more informed decision. As you make one of the most important decisions of your life, we believe that you deserve to have all of the facts.
Before making a hasty decision, here’s what you need to know about abortion vs. adoption:
- The costs of abortion and adoption vary. Adoption is always 100 percent free to you. All of your legal, medical, counseling and other adoption-related costs will be paid for you, and you can also receive additional financial assistance to cover living expenses like housing, clothing and groceries during and after your pregnancy. In contrast, abortion can cost as much as $2,000 or more if there are complications requiring additional medical care.
- The timing of your decision matters. Adoption is always an option, and you can begin the adoption process as early or as late in your pregnancy as you like. It is never too late to consider adoption, even if your baby has already been born. This gives you plenty of time to think about your adoption decision and to make an adoption plan that you are comfortable with. On the other hand, abortions are typically performed during the first trimester of pregnancy, and waiting to make your abortion decision can lead to increased medical risks and complications.
- You may or may not be able to change your mind. You are always in control of your adoption plan, and that means you can legally change your mind about your adoption decision at any time during the process. Your adoption decision is not permanent until you legally consent to the adoption after your baby is born. In North Carolina, a birth mother has seven days after she signs consents to revoke her consent. However, abortion cannot be undone. Once you have started the medical abortion process, your abortion decision is final and permanent.
- Your decision will have a lifelong impact. Neither of your options is easy, and both can have lasting emotional effects. But with adoption, you have the option to maintain a lifelong relationship with your child; if you choose an open or semi-open adoption, you will always know that your child is happy and thriving. Knowing that you will receive pictures and letters or visit with your child may give you the peace of mind you need to grieve in a healthy way. Our counselors work with you to help you anticipate the grief and prepare for it. With abortion, you do not have the option to know your child or maintain a relationship with your child. For some women, it is difficult to come to terms with this decision, and they may struggle with difficult feelings of grief, regret and depression long after their pregnancy is terminated.
There are many factors to consider when choosing abortion or adoption, but the most important are your personal circumstances and beliefs. Every woman’s situation is different, and you are the only person who can choose adoption instead of abortion or vice versa.
However, you do not need to make this decision on your own. Our adoption counselors are highly qualified and licensed to provide the emotional support and information you need as you consider your options.
If you are pregnant but don’t want to parent your baby, you can call us, text us, or fill out our online contact form any time. One of our adoption counselors will reach out to you with free, confidential no-obligation information about the adoption process, our services, and the choices you have when you make an adoption plan for your baby.
Click a star near where you live on the NC map to see what counselor would be assigned to you
Kelly Dunbar
Adoption Counselor/Homestudy Supervisor - Triangle
As an adoptive parent I truly have a passion for adoption. There is no greater joy than helping to create a family! I love this job and I love working with adoptive parents as well as the birth parents. When it all comes together it is an awesome experience! Kelly is a graduate of NC State University where she earned a Bachelor of Social Work. She also received her Master of Social Work from the University of South Carolina. Kelly has been working with children, families, in the home and in communities for 18 years. Kelly has been working with birth mothers and adoptive parents for the last 5 years. Besides working, she has a great husband and three fabulous children, Landon, Parker and Ansley. Kelly and her husband adopted their daughter with the help of ACH and feels as though her personal experience helps her relate to other adoptive families.
Sloane Mosley
Greensboro
Sloane completed her undergraduate degree in Human Services Counseling at Old Dominion University and holds a Master's Degree in Social Work from the University of Southern California. Sloane has been working with children, birth mothers and adopting families for more than 10 years. She loves advocating for children and helping women during pregnancy.
Lakisha Brown
Winston-Salem
Lakisha completed her undergraduate degree in Sociology with a concentration in Social Welfare at Winston-Salem State University. She received her Master of Social Work from Syracuse University. Lakisha has worked with children, individuals and families for more than 12 years. Her experience includes working with at-risk youth, homeless children and families, child mental health, as well as school social work and case management. She is also a long-time basketball fan, a former player and coach. She played at Winston-Salem State University and coached women’s basketball at Elon University and Syracuse University. Lakisha and her husband reside in Alamance County, with their young son.
Jessica Otolinsky
Asheville
Jess completed her undergraduate degree in Communication at the University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown and earned her Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Messiah College. Her professional experience includes case management, education, women’s behavioral health including a focus on pregnant mothers, and working with kinship and domestic adoptive families who have experienced trauma. Jess is a native of central Pennsylvania though loves living in Asheville with her significant other. When she is not working, she is likely caring for her puppy and dog, painting, practicing yoga, camping or planning her next road trip to see family and friends or have an adventure in some new place!
Sylvia Senbel
Charlotte
Sylvia is a graduate of Western Carolina University, where she earned a Bachelor of Social Work. She also received her Master of Social Work from the University of North Carolina. Sylvia has been working with children and families for more than 19 years. She enjoys gardening, reading, hiking, and spending time with her husband and three boys. She also loves animals, especially her dog Jazzy.
Nicole Barnes
Jacksonville
Nicole completed her undergraduate studies at Chowan University in Psychology with a concentration in Alcohol & Drug Studies and a minor in Criminal Justice. Nicole has provided services to adolescents, teens, college students, the Department of Corrections, the Department of Parole and Probation, the NC Division of Motor Vehicles, the Division of Transportation, and the Department of Defense. She is a Certified Alcohol & Drug Counselor and has been working in the mental health field for 15 years.
Suzanne Mangum
Triangle
Suzanne was the primary pregnancy care manager stationed at Duke high-risk perinatal clinic for 20 years. She has a BS in Social Work at UNC Pembroke and is a licensed School Social Worker. She recently worked as a case manager in a substance abuse disorder residential program for women with young children. Suzanne is a “Durhamite” but has resided in Wake County since graduating. Her biggest accomplishment has been happily raising her 14 yo daughter and 3 poodle mixed pups.
