See Tim, Rhiannon and Annaiise’s visit to the courthouse for the presentation of the final adoption decree.
See Tim, Rhiannon and Annaiise’s visit to the courthouse for the presentation of the final adoption decree.
Adoption respite care is an important part of the adoption process in NC. Under North 
Carolina law, consent may be revoked by the birth mother within 7 days of signing. Revocation seldom happens, but when it does, it can be very difficult for adoptive parents. As a protection against the added emotional impact of having bonded with the baby during this revocation period, A Child’s Hope provides respite care for the child during this first week. In addition, some infants may have short-term health issues that require special attention. Respite caregivers are trained and experienced in dealing with these issues and are invaluable in providing the child and adoptive parents the best start to a new and happy family.
Two everyday heroes of adoption respite care are Judy and Alan. They recently cared for their 200th respite baby. Judy and Alan shared with us some of their experiences as adoption respite caregivers.
We started in 1980 in Erie, PA and cared for babies up to the time we moved to N.C. in 1995. Both our 100th and 200th placement were with A Child’s Hope. Of the 200 babies we have cared for, 83 have been with A Child’s Hope.
Our first placement was Matthew who was born Oct. 30, 2000.
We have always had a special love for babies, even as children, and then, Judy, as a Registered Nurse, worked in the hospital nursery. We feel this is our ministry.
Meeting the adoptive parents and sharing their joy on “Placement Day” is wonderful.
Each baby is unique and has his/her own special story!
Judy and I are the parents of three wonderful sons and grandparents of 6, five boys and one girl! We both have the love, time and availability to care for these babies. Also, Judy was an RN and worked with babies in the hospital.
Relax and enjoy each stage of your child’s life. The days are long but the years are short!
February 6, 2018, was a historic milestone for the adoption agency A Child’s Hope. We placed twins, which were the 349th and 350th children adopted through the agency. It was hard not to get a bit teary when I held them in my arms.
In our first year, 2000, we placed six newborns in North Carolina from a small office in one corner of my law practice, Parker Herring Law Group, LLC. We had one part-time assistant and one part-time social worker. In 2017, A Child’s Hope placed 18 newborns and we have a full-time staff person, a part-time assistant and eight adoption counselors spread throughout the state.
A first in North Carolina, A Child’s Hope adoption agency was started by two attorneys and is still directed by an attorney today. Unlike other adoption agencies, we are not directly affiliated or tied to any faith-based organization. This means the decision of who we serve is not predicated on the mission of any specific religion.
For A Child’s Hope, our “mission” was and still is, to reduce the time and cost of adoption. After adopting my oldest son from New Mexico in 1998, his dad and I were stressed to the max emotionally and financially. His adoption cost us nearly $55,000 in 2018 money ($36,000 in 1998).
When we started the adoption agency, I would answer the birthmother hotline and be ready to drive across the state at a moment’s notice. I remember driving to one address where the young woman had her baby at home because she did not want to tell her mother she was pregnant. On the way to her apartment, I walked her through tying off his cord with a piece of string and swaddling him until I could get there.
It was also a time when I was not able to find homes in North Carolina for the African-American children, like the twins, that needed adoption. I would literally spend days calling all around the United States trying to find families for these babies. Today, it is a different story. Adoptive parents in North Carolina only see a child to call their own, not the racial or ethnic heritage of the birth parents.
It is the same for birth mothers. In 2000, placing a child with a well-qualified single parent or same-gender couple was nearly impossible. Today, birth mothers are much more open to selecting non-traditional families.
Over the years, many of the birth mothers and adoptive parents have stayed in touch. I recently heard from one birth mother who placed her child in 2004:
“If I can ever help in any way, as a birth mother, I would be happy to help. … There is a strong, loving and wonderful family out there because this happened [placing my daughter up for adoption]. I can never thank them [the adoptive parents] enough for being my daughter’s family. She’s having an amazing life. The life she deserves. A Child’s Hope made that possible. Thank you for what you do. The counseling is what helped me do the best thing for my daughter. … She saved my life. Again thank you with all my heart.”
So today 350th placement. Hopefully, there will be another 100 or so before I retire.
If you are a birth mother, click here to discover more about placing your child for adoption.
If you are interested in becoming adoptive parents email us at ACH@AChildsHope.com or call 919-839-8800.
A mother of three children, E. Parker Herring has a deep respect and understanding of family law and the adoption process (for which she’s adopted two children of her own). She is the founder and director of A Child’s Hope, a North Carolina licensed adoption agency, located in Raleigh that focuses on helping birthmothers and families looking to adopt within the state. A Child’s Hope has placed 350 children since 2000, and is the only North Carolina domestic adoption agency directed by an attorney. Herring is a Board-Certified Family Law Specialist who has practiced family law for nearly 30 years in the Raleigh area. She is a member of the NC Bar Association, the Wake County Bar Association, and the NC Collaborative Lawyers.
Why Your Schnapps-Drinking Uncle Oscar Might Not Be the Best Choice as Guardian
By Angel Simpson, Attorney
Angel Simpson, Attorney
Parker Herring Law Group, PLLC
You love him! I mean what is there not to love? He is delightfully eccentric, has never been married, wears lederhosen to family funerals and brings his own Peppermint Schnapps to holiday functions. But is he the best choice of guardian for your child/ren? No way!
Choosing a guardian and a backup guardian for your child/ren is critically important as this person will be raising your child/ren if something happens to you. Read the following blog authored by Angel Simpson, attorney with the Parker Herring Law Group, PLLC for tips on how to choose a guardian.
How to Choose Guardian
Most people assume that if something were to happen to them, their loved ones would care for their children. However, the best way to protect your child/ren is to have a plan in place in case of an emergency. Planning ahead allows you to decide who will care for your child/ren when you are no longer here or unable to care for them yourself.
Choosing a guardian for your child/ren may not be as easy as you think. So, how does a parent determine who is the right person to care for their child/ren if they are unable? The following are some important factors that all parents must consider before making this decision:
Once you make a decision, talk to that person about your desire for them to fill the role of guardian of your child/ren. They will most likely be honored that you chose them. On the other hand, they may have issues going on in their life that you know nothing about or they may feel they do not have the ability to parent your child/ren. If not, you will need to choose someone else. Also, discuss your choice of guardian with your family so that there are no issues or disputes down the road.
Keep in mind that one of the biggest reasons that guardians fail is parents not providing funds to support their child/ren. Make sure that you set up a life insurance policy, or some other financial support, so that the guardian can adequately care for your child/ren.
So, although you want Uncle Oscar to have a permanent place in your child’s life, he should not be the one chosen to take care of your child/ren!
We are excited to share with you our video that features the children adopted through A Child’s Hope this year. In 2017, we placed 18 children with North Carolina families.
Thank you for the privilege to be part of the dream of growing families through adoption. The meaningful work the agency does would not be possible without the willing adoptive parents, trusting birth parents, our excellent adoption counselors, and the many healthcare professionals who work with us across the state on a daily basis.
Watch the video of this first Father’s Day on CBS North Carolina.
By AJ Janavel, Reporter, CBS North Carolina – After a two-year wait, one Raleigh dad celebrated his first Father’s Day as a dad with the help of a local group connecting families in North Carolina.
On Sunday, Rob celebrated his first Father’s Day as a dad with his wife Anna and their son Dylan.
Rob and Anna chose to adopt their son. Because of the sensitive nature of the adoption process, they did not want to use their last name.
Rob says he was adopted himself and that was part of the reason for his decision to adopt Dylan. But, it was a process Rob’s wife, Anne says definitely wore on her husband.
“Maybe this is it. And we feel like this is it. And it wasn’t us and we get so close. So that does get frustrating,” said Anne.
Through the entire two-year process, Rob and Anne had support from family and friends, but also from their adoption agency.
Parker Herring is the director of A Child’s Hope Adoptions, based out of Raleigh.
It’s an agency Herring created nearly two decades ago, while adopting a child herself, she ran into several road blocks.
“When people go out of state to adopt then (that) adds a great deal of cost,” she said.
From her experiences adopting out of state, Herring made a group where North Carolina families could find and adopt children within the state.
In the last 17 years, Herring has facilitated 343 adoptions.
“Today I thought about all the fathers who were dads for the first time,” said Herring.
And for people like Rob, and Anne they are grateful after the long wait.
“Looking forward to many more Father’s Days,” said Rob.
See the story on CBS North Carolina.
Watch the Durham Adoption Video on wral.com
DURHAM, N.C. — A Durham adoption helps a woman, whose road to motherhood was paved with speed bumps at every turn, celebrated her first Mother’s Day Sunday.
Exactly one month ago, Rhiannon and her husband brought home a precious baby girl. Rhiannon said a meeting at church is what opened her up to the idea of adoption.
The couple started the adoptions process but two years in, they hit a major bump. The agency they were with abruptly closed, putting the couple back at square one.
“The day I got that email it was like someone punched in my the stomach. I couldn’t breathe,” Rhiannon said.
But thanks in part to Facebook, and some other families who were facing similar circumstances, Rhiannon was able to connect with Parker Herring at A Child’s Hope.
“It was very abrupt and the families were very distraught, so we reached out and we offered for the families to come out and talk about it,” Herring said.
Not too long after Rhiannon and her husband were able to connect with A Child’s Hope, they found their daughter’s birth parents. They all said it felt right from the start.
“It feels so good,” Rhiannon said. “Sometimes I joke – pinch me. It feels surreal. It’s amazing.”
Rhiannon and her husband have an open adoptions with their daughter’s birth parents and said they plan to keep it that way throughout their daughter’s life.
Parker Herring, is a Board-Certified Family Law Attorney and Director of the NC-based adoption agency, A Child’s Hope. In this blog, she discusses the most frequent asked questions about adoption that she gets from birth mothers. Plus, shares many of her firsthand experiences as she’s adopted two children of her own.
One of the questions about adoption I often hear from birth mothers is:
“How can I let my child know how much I love him/her?”
I explain that although she will not be there physically to do the daily tasks that let a child know he/she is loved, there is a lot that can be done before and after the placement to help the child understand the difficult act of choosing adoption. Remember, a child can never have too many people loving him/her. These eight ideas are written as suggestions for birth mothers, but of course, birth fathers can follow the same protocol.
Letters — Write a letter to your child for the adoptive parents to read later. What is most important is that this letter be in your own words and from your heart. Explain why you made this decision, how much you love him/her and how he/she will always be in your heart. My middle son’s birth mother wrote a nicely worded letter on lined paper with a pen. It’s simple and beautiful.
Lifebooks — Consider doing a photo book. Known as a lifebook, these scrapbooks can include photographs of you, your family, and even the birth father. Over time the child can get to know you. For some ideas on photo books, Amazon has a nice selection.
Make Something for the Child — Making a blanket or giving a stuffed animal to the adoptive family to give to the child is special. The child can keep it, it’s tangible and something you have gifted. If you are okay with parting with a stuffed animal or toy that you had as a child, this can make the gift even more meaningful.
Books About Adoption — Purchase a children’s book about adoption and inscribe inside a message from your heart. Maybe something like: “Never forget how much I love you!” For a list of children’s books, visit amazon and your local library.
Send Clothes and Toys. Ask the adoptive parents to let you know about sizes for clothes and favorite toys to send to your child. Even something small, but sent on a regular basis honoring an important day or event, will let the child know that they continued to be loved.
Naming the Child — If you are in contact with the adoptive parents, ask them to work with you on choosing a name for the child that either has part of your name, or a name you chose for the baby. Ask the adoptive parents to share with the child how he/she got their name. Names are a sensitive subject. If you are uncomfortable bringing up the suggestion of being involved in the name process, consider asking a counselor for help. If you don’t have a counselor, email or ask the question in a note to the adoptive parents. My oldest son’s birth mother chose a name for him, but never told us. I didn’t know until after the mother’s birth certificate arrived. I’ve told him the name she chose, and he cherishes it. If I’d known of her choice, I would have honored it by using at least one of the names.
Stay in touch. Both with open and semi-open adoptions (hot link to web pages), you can send letters and pictures over the years. Birthday cards, Valentine’s cards, all holidays. Send in advance so the child receives on his/her holiday celebration. Your pictures can show the child how you are doing. I saw one birth mother hold up a sign in a photograph with the lettering “Forever in my Heart”. You can also set up SnapFish, Shutterfly or Flickr accounts to share pictures.
Visits – It is important to always follow through with plans to stay in touch. If you had agreed on visits, follow through. At the visit remember that your emotions may be difficult for the child to understand, so do your best to put the child’s needs first. It’s always good to give a small gift – whether it be a card, coloring book or some other small token. Physically demonstrate your affection for the child at the visit, but take cues from the child. You do not want to make the child feel uncomfortable. If there has been a long time between visits, it may take your child awhile to warm up. Don’t insist that the child call you “mom” – use your first name.
There are many ways show the child that you love and care for him/her as they grow. Determining which will be best for you, the child and the adoptive family is a partnership and should be planned for, as much as possible, before the adoption. Holding open and honest conversations with the adoption agency counselor and the adoptive parents will go a long way in providing you comfort that the child knows how loved they are, as well as providing the child the knowledge of who the birth parents are, where they come from and, most importantly, that they are loved dearly.
A mother of three children, E. Parker Herring has a deep respect and understanding of family law and the adoption process (for which she’s adopted two children of her own). She is the founder and director of A Child’s Hope, a North Carolina licensed adoption agency located in Raleigh that focuses on helping birth mothers and families looking to adopt and answer questions about adoption. A Child’s Hope has placed 332 children since 2000, and is the only North Carolina domestic adoption agency directed by an attorney. Herring is a Board-Certified Family Law Specialist who has practiced family law for nearly 30 years in the Raleigh area. She’s a member of the NC Bar Association, the Wake County Bar Association, and the NC Collaborative Lawyers.
Over the years, Beth and husband Steve have stayed in touch with A Child’s Hope through Christmas parties, picnics and other functions. Not a day goes by that Beth doesn’t think of A Child’s Hope in some way as she and Steve raise their family of adopted daughters, thanking God for the gift of their three girls.
Beth and Steve’s first daughter came in a whirlwind. In March of 2000, a birthmother called the agency and asked: “Can Beth and Steve come to the hospital and pick up the baby?”
You see, this young woman had not met with an agency counselor. She had not contacted the agency. She had plans to do so, but never did. However, she had gone to the website, read the Waiting Families section with profiles of those looking to adopt. Like so much in life, the unexpected happened, the baby came early.
There were legal matters to be resolved, but the director of A Child’s Hope, E. Parker Herring, located Beth and Steve and asked if they would be interested in taking home a baby that day.
“We were very nervous as it was our first child, and we had only waited a few months,” says Beth.
After Beth and Steve met at the hospital with the birthmother and A Child’s Hope counselor they agreed to become the newborn’s family. Her name was Alexis. She was one of the first adoption placements by A Child’s Hope. “It was so reassuring to know that A Child’s Hope was working on the birthmother’s behalf, as well as ours,” says Steve. “We were so impressed with the people there; the social workers, Parker, Bobby, everyone.”
About two years later, Beth and Steve signed with A Child’s Hope to adopt a second child. This time the adoption was a little more typical. Beth and Steve were matched with a birthmother during pregnancy and Meghan (again named by Beth and Steve) was placed with them a year later.
“By the time we adopted our second daughter we felt a little more confident in what we were doing,” says Beth. “The three of us went to the office and picked her up with big sister, Alexis, leading the way. It was so nice to see our oldest so happy to have a little sister.”
In 2005, this young and vibrant family was ready to welcome home a third child. Thirteen months later they became a family of five. Savannah came home in October of 2006.
“When A Child’s Hope called about our third little girl, we knew our family was complete,” says Steve. “We were driving home from the children’s museum when the social worker called to tell us we had been selected by the birthmother. For the second time, we a went as a family to A Child’s Hope and our daughters met their new little sister.”
“We will always be eternally grateful to the three birthmothers who so unselfishly placed their children for adoption,” says Beth. “These girls have no biology connecting them, but they are sisters in every sense of the word.”
So today, through adoption the Gracey family includes 17, 15 and 11-year-old adopted daughters, and they wouldn’t change a thing. Beth and Steve still remember each time they learned that a birthmother selected them, and the joy they felt in building a family. Beth explains, “The reason we were able to be the family we are is due to the caring, genuine and knowledgeable team at A Child’s Hope, and the birthmothers they so compassionately work with.”
A mother of three children, E. Parker Herring has a deep respect and understanding of family law and the adoption process (for which she’s adopted two children of her own). She is the founder and director of A Child’s Hope, a North Carolina licensed adoption agency located in Raleigh that focuses on helping birthmothers and families looking to adopt. A Child’s Hope has placed 332 children since 2000, and is the only North Carolina domestic adoption agency directed by an attorney. Herring is a Board-Certified Family Law Specialist who has practiced family law for nearly 30 years in the Raleigh area. She’s a member of the N.C. Bar Association, the Wake County Bar Association, and the NC Collaborative Lawyers.
These two little boys were in our office this week for adoption legal work reminded me of the biracial siblings on the drama series This Is Us that premiered on NBC last fall. If you haven’t caught it, it’s about the family connections of several people who share the same birthday and the ways in which they are similar and different. 
These brothers – Jacob and Jackson – are exactly three months apart and now share a nursery as brothers. Jackson was born to Andrea and Stephen in November 2016. They had been waiting to be matched with a birthmother when Andrea became pregnant, yet these parents remained committed to building their family through adoption.
Earlier this week, Jacob’s biological mother joined the new parents to share in the joy of celebrating this baby, along with her two older children, and her mother. Newborn Jacob was so laid back, he slept through the legal work. Both boys were sporting matching outfits with shirts that said “Little Brother” and “Big Brother.”
Adoption counselor Kelly Dunbar spent many hours counseling the birth mother and the adoptive parents through this placement. She was also present to see the boys come together as brothers – a truly special day.
Love does not know what color it is. That’s our real life This is Us.