Comunity

Raleigh Dad Enjoys 1st Father’s Day After Adopting a Child

Father's Day after IAC closing

Watch the video of this first Father’s Day on CBS North Carolina.

By , Reporter, CBS North Carolina – After a two-year wait, one Raleigh dad celebrated his first Father’s Day as a dad with the help of a local group connecting families in North Carolina.

On Sunday, Rob celebrated his first Father’s Day as a dad with his wife Anna and their son Dylan.

Rob and Anna chose to adopt their son. Because of the sensitive nature of the adoption process, they did not want to use their last name.

Rob says he was adopted himself and that was part of the reason for his decision to adopt Dylan. But, it was a process Rob’s wife, Anne says definitely wore on her husband.

“Maybe this is it. And we feel like this is it. And it wasn’t us and we get so close. So that does get frustrating,” said Anne.

Through the entire two-year process, Rob and Anne had support from family and friends, but also from their adoption agency.

Parker Herring is the director of A Child’s Hope Adoptions, based out of Raleigh.

It’s an agency Herring created nearly two decades ago, while adopting a child herself, she ran into several road blocks.

“When people go out of state to adopt then (that) adds a great deal of cost,” she said.

From her experiences adopting out of state, Herring made a group where North Carolina families could find and adopt children within the state.

In the last 17 years, Herring has facilitated 343 adoptions.

“Today I thought about all the fathers who were dads for the first time,” said Herring.

And for people like Rob, and Anne they are grateful after the long wait.

“Looking forward to many more Father’s Days,” said Rob.

See the story on CBS North Carolina.

Despite Rocky Road, Durham Woman Celebrates First Mother’s Day

Durham Adoption
Watch the Durham Adoption Video on wral.com

— A Durham adoption helps a woman, whose road to motherhood was paved with speed bumps at every turn, celebrated her first Mother’s Day Sunday.

Exactly one month ago, Rhiannon and her husband brought home a precious baby girl. Rhiannon said a meeting at church is what opened her up to the idea of adoption.

The couple started the adoptions process but two years in, they hit a major bump. The agency they were with abruptly closed, putting the couple back at square one.

“The day I got that email it was like someone punched in my the stomach. I couldn’t breathe,” Rhiannon said.

But thanks in part to Facebook, and some other families who were facing similar circumstances, Rhiannon was able to connect with Parker Herring at A Child’s Hope.

“It was very abrupt and the families were very distraught, so we reached out and we offered for the families to come out and talk about it,” Herring said.

Not too long after Rhiannon and her husband were able to connect with A Child’s Hope, they found their daughter’s birth parents. They all said it felt right from the start.

“It feels so good,” Rhiannon said. “Sometimes I joke – pinch me. It feels surreal. It’s amazing.”

Rhiannon and her husband have an open adoptions with their daughter’s birth parents and said they plan to keep it that way throughout their daughter’s life.

See the story on wral.com

US Military offers Federal Adoption Tax Credit for Military Families looking to Adopt

This article was originally published by Herring & Mills PLLC on www.herringandmillslawfirm.com

By taking advantage of the federal adoption tax credit, US Military benefits and employer advantages, thousands of American families are eligible and receive financial benefits each year for the cost associated with an adoption. Here’s a quick breakdown of those three methods:

Federal Adoption Tax Credit

The federal adoption tax credit (FATC) allows a monetary boost for adopting families whose gross annual income is not over $200,000. For those families which qualify, the federal tax credit provides up to $13,460.00. You can find more information on the FATC here. We’ve written about the federal adoption tax credit on this blog before.

“My wife Priscila and I have adopted twice through A Child’s Hope. Our two boys – one adopted in 2008 and the other in 2013 –  are priceless to us, but the Federal adoption tax credit helped make the fees and expenses affordable for us. We both work in research; I am a medical writer and my wife is a research scientist.”

— Bill Siesser

Employer / employee adoption benefits

Many employers across the country also provide the benefit of financial assistance once a child is placed in the adoptive home of its new parents. Check with your Human Resource department at your company to see what benefits or advantages there might be (if any) which your company provides.

This financial assistance from employers can take the form of a lump sum, or payment of certain fees related to an adoption or partial reimbursement to employees for expenses. Each company that offers financial assistance varies in what the payment is, but the nationwide average is around $4,000, with a range generally from $3,000 to $5000. The application process with businesses and employers tends to be relatively simple and easy.

Why do companies do it? Businesses justify these benefits as an investment in retaining their employees, and that the payment towards adoption increases worker loyalty to the business. They see it as a win-win, since training new employees is almost always more expensive than retaining current staff.

Some companies are now also offering family leave for adoption, which is a benefit that can lower the cost of your adoption if the leave is paid. (Here’s a list of America’s top adoption-friendly workplaces.)

US Military adoption benefits

The United States Military Service is an employer too, and servicemen and women in the armed forces are eligible in many cases to take advantage of adoption credits while serving. The military can be quite adoption friendly.

“The military provided us with $3,000 as financial assistance for our son Joe Joe’s adoption.Overall, the military has been extremely supportive of our adoptions.”

  • Devon Donahue, wife of a U.S. Army Officer

Lakeisha’s Adoptive Mother Story: “Meeting our son”

Something was different about this time, however the previous heartbreak caused us to keep our guard up. We met for our match meeting less than a week before our birth mother was scheduled for delivery. The excitement and anticipation was so high. We chose not to share the news with our family, especially our 6 year old son. He had been praying nightly for God to send him a sister (little did he know God was preparing him a brother)! Adoptive mother Lakeisha

Our birth mother was wonderful! She kept us informed and included us on what was going on from the time she went to the hospital, after delivery and even after leaving the hospital. I remember talking to her the day our son was born. The adoption counselor called and gave us to information about the baby and assured us he was healthy. The next voice I heard was that of our birth mother. She was eager to share the news with us personally and it was a relief to know that she still wanted us to be his Forever Family! 

Placement Day FINALLY came! My husband and I we able to spend some time with birth mother, getting to know each other and discovering commonalities. I still look at pictures and will treasure the moment when she handed me this precious little boy. A moment when he was held and loved by the two women that love him so much! 

– Adoptive Mother, Lakeisha (child placed in 2015)

image credit via flickr

Why would a Shark Divorce Attorney Start an adoption agency?

This article was originally published on our sister website, Herring & Mills Family Law Firm in Raleigh

parker herring attorney raleigh family lawPeople often ask me why I – once an aggressive divorce attorney – founded an adoption agency. I was Board certified in Family law and could fight it out with the best of them. The simple answer is that A Child’s Hope was born because I got mad, got scared and fell in love with a little boy born in New Mexico. My personal experience of the difficulties in bringing a family together through adoption shook my value system and gave me the courage to act as an advocate for other children and parents who want to adopt.

I Got Mad

. . . about how expensive, difficult and stressful the adoption process was when I travelled to New Mexico 18  years ago in order to adopt my son.  Now, I am no saint, and anyone who has borne the brunt of my temper knows the aftermath is not always pleasant. But in this case, thankfully, my anger was driven by compassion, and I was able to use that energy constructively. I believe that can be seen in A Child’s Hope’s ability to match 316 children to families over the last 16 years in North Carolina. With few exceptions, our families are matched with North Carolina birth mothers and the adoptions are in state. And when the birth father is identified, as much as possible the birth father issues are sorted out ahead of the baby’s birth.

I Got Scared

I remember feeling very scared once we started caring for my son-to-be in a hotel in New Mexico.  I was scared that the situation wasn’t going to work out – there were complex paternity issues,  and he had health issues because he was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate. The doctors wanted us to leave him there in Albuquerque for treatment and he was losing weight really fast. We had to go to the pediatrician daily to weigh him and we had to  wait two weeks in a hotel to get approval to bring him back to North Carolina. I was scared I would lose a son I never had, and I was scared for his sake, for all that he was going through and for all that he would have to go through.

I Fell In Love

parker herring adoption agency open. . . with this sweet little baby boy with brownish-blonde hair and slate colored eyes  swaddled and lying on his side in a Catholic hospital in Albuquerque.

He was struggling to breathe and the nurses wouldn’t let me pick him up because he had been crying since he was born, the night before. When I tell my son this story he laughs and says, “I guess I was crying, someone must have showed me a mirror.” Another reason I love my son? His sense of humor. You see, my son knows that when he was born there was a gaping hole where his nose should be and a large bulbous growth sticking out. I won’t tell you that his dad and I weren’t scared for him but when we saw him that night, we saw  a little boy who had found his home with us and we fell in love with him.

Home Sweet HomeEPH Photo 1 - parker - resized

Once we got back home to North Carolina I again became angry, because our family had to deal with more complications within the adoption process. I was shocked to learn when we added it up that the legal, agency and medical costs as well as our costs for travelling and staying in New Mexico   totaled $35,000 in 1998 (or about $51,000 today). One of my goals has been to help families adopting to keep the costs lo and stress down by adopting within the state. Families adopting through  A Child’s Hope now spend an average of $35,000 18 years later from when I adopted my son — huge savings for any family.

Worthwhile, If Not Easy

Adoption for our family was complicated, stressful and very expensive.  I still wake up several times a year from the nightmares and my jaw aching from the clenching of teeth over the stress. It took us three years to pay off the adoption costs and quite some time to sort out the birth father and American Indian issues.  

So why did an aggressive divorce attorney create an adoption agency? Because adopting my son changed my life. As a family we sometimes get angry at each other, sometimes don’t talk and sometimes don’t see each other, but the love is always there. And I want other sons and daughters and their parents to have the opportunity that we did, and I want to make it easier for them than it was for us.

Contest Winners!!!

A big thanks to all the submitted their heartfelt entry in our contest!

Notes from the Heart Winners

Congratulations to our winners birth mother Sara, adoptive parent Elise, adult adoptee Sheryl and adoption professional Anne!!!

To view all of our “Note from the Heart” entries go to – http://on.fb.me/1545B8P

Although our contest has ended, if you have a special story of how adoption has touched your heart and changed your life, you can still tell us your story!  Whether you’re a birth mother, adoptive parent, or someone who was adopted as a child… No matter what your role has been in the adoption process, your story is special, and we still want to hear about it!

Do you have a story you’d like to tell?  Email us at ach@foryourlife.com.  Visit us at www.AChildsHope.com, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

The Networking Challenge

In 2012, Jody and Paige took the networking challenge to heart and reached out to family and friends with an email… which led them to Riley’s birth mom and their placement!!

Jody and Paige went on our website in 2011, and took to heart the need to network on their behalf to find a child to adopt.  They were matched with a birthmother who was due August 2012, and the match is a direct result of their efforts to reach out and let others know that they wish to adopt.

Jody, Paige and Riley on Placement Day

Jody, Paige and Riley on Placement Day

They found their birth mother Megan by putting out the word among family and friends in an email with links to their website.  After finishing their profile and website with Hal and Joanna, Paige sent out an email to everyone on her contact list that she and Jody were planning to adopt, wanted to share their story and get the word out there!  Paige referred back to My Adoption Advisor’s online “Adoption Advertising & Networking” class which helped her create her email.  And about a week later they got a phone call from a woman Jody had served with in the military…  Her daughter had just come to her and told her she was pregnant and they reached out to Jody and Paige for a possible adoption plan.  All from an email!

A Big thank you to Jody, Paige and Riley for allowing us to tell the story of their family!

Do you have a story you’d like to tell?  Email us at blog.ach@foryourlife.com.  Visit us at www.AChildsHope.com, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

The open adoption spectrum? Or something better…

“My word for 2012 was write, and my word for 2013 is speak. I aim to talk with people about the benefits of openness in adoption (which is not necessarily the same as “open adoption,” as you’ll see below) to anyone involved in adoption who will listen.”

Below is a guest post that originally appeared on the site of the organization that is sponsoring Lori’s attendance at the Gala where she will receive the award for Commitment to Excellence for 2013. The post was prompted by a question put to me.

What is open adoption — and is it a spectrum?

 

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I bet if you asked a bunch of people who know about adoption what open adoption is, you would get variations on the theme of contact, that there is a continuum of contact, and that each adoption will find its way on to a point on the continuum. On one end might be a fully closed adoption, meaning no contact and no identifying information. At the other end people might place full openness — adoptive and birth parents treating each other as extended families.

Seems kinda flat, no?

But as we move into the third decade of the movement toward open adoptions, I submit that we should stop using contact as our measure. Why?

To view this blog in its entirety and become a follower go to: http://lavenderluz.com/

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Do you have a story you’d like to tell?  Email us at blog.ach@foryourlife.com.  Visit us at www.AChildsHope.com, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

Birthmother Hotline: (877) 890-4673

Envia Un Texto: (919) 218-6270

Text: Pregnant to (919) 971-4396