What do your adopted children want from you as the adoptive parent?

Adoption, Children, Parenting - December 10, 2015

Now that the adoption agency I founded here in North Carolina is 16 years old, and now that my two adopted sons are teenagers, I’ve learned a bit about what adoptees (adopted children) want over time from me as an adoptive mother. Every adoption situation is different, but there are some common threads:

Adoptees want to hear their birth story:

Birthdays and holidays like Christmas and Easter can be hard for adoptees. That is why we encourage adoptive parents in open adoptions to send photographs and update them three times a year at a minimum – the child’s birthday, and Christmas and Easter. We get the most inquiries from birthmothers who have placed their children on the child’s birthday and around the holidays.

And if you are adopted, hearing the story about the first time you as an adoptive mother saw you and held you is very important. Share these details. Share photographs from the hospital if you were lucky enough to be there and also share photographs from placement day (or “Gotcha day!” as they’re sometimes called).

Adoptees want to be reassured that you will never abandon them:

For adoptees, I think there is often the question of why didn’t she keep me? It’s especially important with adopted children that their adopted parents remind them frequently that adoption is forever. I tell my sons that “I will always be there for you” and when one of them acts out or makes a mistake, I let them know that there is nothing they can do that will stop me from loving them. It’s my mantra, and no matter how they act out, I repeat it.

Adoptees deserve to know why they were placed for adoption:

It’s important for adopted parents to share what they know about what was behind the birthparents’ decision to place them for adoption rather than raise the child. Whether she was an unwed teenager or a woman struggling with addictions, domestic violence or poverty, information about why there was an adoption helps adoptees cope with the reality that they couldn’t be raised in their birth family.

When the facts behind placement are especially dire – rape and incest, abuse by a birthparent, etc. the facts can be shared at a later time in development when the child can understand. In the meantime, if the adopted parents met the birthmother, telling the child about shared physical characteristics you observed is a link that helps an adoptee feel connected.

Adoptees need to know that they were not a mistake:

No one is a mistake. But I think for adopted children it can look and feel that way. Little do they know that many pregnancies are not planned, whether there is an adoption or not. But when you are an adoptee, it’s important to state the obvious often and without reserve – “I am so glad you were born! You have made me so happy! And I will always love you!”

When I told my son this recently, he challenged me. “But I was a mistake!” he yelled.

I hesitated and then recovered. “Not to your dad and me,” I said. “God made you just for us.”

How long will we have to wait to adopt?

Adoption - November 18, 2015

Two questions we get the most when talking to prospective adoptive parents is 1) how long they will have to wait before adopting, and 2) how much will it cost.

Wait times in domestic adoptions are directly related to the adoptive parents openness to the “issues” that you see in adoption. The more open the adoptive parents are to these issues the shorter wait time they will have.

The biggest issue is race, and the longest wait is for full Caucasian. The shortest wait is for African American. I’ve seen statistics quoted that for every full Caucasian baby available for adoption there are 45 to 50 couples that would be open to that situation. The reverse is true for African American. There are at any one time in the US at least 45 or 50 African American babies available for adoption.

The second biggest issue is gender. If you are gender specific then you are going to increase your wait. Girls are less available than boys.

Another issue is alcohol and substance abuse during pregnancy. Women with unplanned pregnancies may have consumed alcohol and substances that normally they wouldn’t consume if they had been planning a pregnancy. We advise adoptive parents to look at each situation and do research on the effects of alcohol and other substances.

Another key issue in adoptions is the identity of the birthfather and the willingness of an identified birthfather to sign consents to the adoption. Its not uncommon for a woman placing for adoption to name multiple birthfathers. Although each case should be examined for legal risk, as turning down adoption opportunities because there is uncertainty about the birthfather is going to increase wait time. An experienced attorney can help you evaluate the risk and make a decision on whether the opportunity is a good one for you.

Other issues in adoption include no prenatal care or irregular prenatal care, and mental and physical health issues in the birth parents or their extended families that can be passed on to the unborn child.

And the more open adoptive parents are to open adoptions, the shorter their wait time can be for a child. There is a definite trend towards openness in adoptions, and in North Carolina by law all adoptions are open by law. So if you limit yourself to a closed or semi-open adoption, you are going to have a much longer wait.

Adoption & Parents: Will my child hate me?

Adoption, Parenting - November 4, 2015

There are a multitude of misconceptions about adoption that can cause worry for both prospective birth parents or adopting families. Adoptive parents might wonder if they will be able to love an adopted child as much as their biological children, and sometimes birth parents worry that their adopted child will have ill feelings toward them.

However, some are working to fight that preconceived notion. The U.S. Department of Health and Services has published the most recent statistics from the 2007 National Survey of Adoptive Parents (NSAP). This is the first of its kind, an empirical study with verifiable data that can be used to fight common misunderstandings that birth parents and adoptive families have about the adoptive process. These stats show that many of the more widespread misconceptions are simply incorrect.

Here a a few general adoption misconceptions:

“Will the adopted child enjoy as much love as a biological child?”

This is an expected feeling that both the adoptive family and birth parents share before adopting. Any fear of the adoptive family not caring for a child simply because it doesn’t have their genes are quickly gone as soon as the adoptive parents first sees their child. This is true for almost every adoption!

Just watch how the adoptive parents interact with the adopted child: Nearly 75% of adopted children ages one to five are read to or sang to every day, compared with only half of non-adopted children who receive the same attention from their biological parents. That’s amazing!

Moreover, well over 50% of all adopted children eat dinner with their families at least 6 days per week.

It’s no surprise that adoption statistics show how much adoptive parents cherish the time they have with their children. And it shows, because they appreciate every day the opportunity to be a mom and a dad. They are the first ones at their son’s team’s practice, and they are in the front row of their daughter’s play. Their lives simply revolve around their kids.

“My child will hate me because I placed her for adoption?”

This notion comes about from people and media that are inexperienced in adoption, or simply too caught up in Hollywood depictions of the adoption process. A family member or a friend who might not agree with a pregnant woman’s desire to place her child for adoption might try to claim that the child might hate the parent if this were to happen. And some television shows and movies have unjustly portrayed adopted kids in this way as well.

But here are the facts: around nine out of ten adopted children ages 5 and older have good, positive feelings about their adoption. Most adopted children are raised in happy homes by loving adoptive parents, so why would an adopted child hate his birth parents, the ones who provided him with a great life and his mom and dad? Think about it.

A few more points about adoption myths:

-The best way to ensure that your child knows that you love him or her is to give the adoptive parents something – a letter or a life book – that will show your love and express how you feel. In the letter you can explain why you made the decision to place for adoption.

-In “open adoptions” you can over the years show your love and affection by staying in touch. Look up studies on how adoptive children feel and quote from it. (Adoption Institute, Adoptive Families, etc.) Follow up with communication over the years that can be passed on to your child as he grows.

-Cases where the adopted child doesn’t know why the adoption plan was made are more likely to result in anger towards the birth parents, so make sure that you provide a letter and pictures, and express how you feel.

A Letter To My Child — How Can I Let Them Know…

Adoption, Children, Family - September 22, 2015

Although a birthmother may not be there for the little things like feeding, diapering and other daily tasks which help a child know that he or she is loved, there is a lot that a woman placing a baby for adoption can do before and after the process to help their child understand the difficult and brave act of asking someone else to raise their child.

These following notes are written as suggestions for a birthmother and birthfathers struggling with how to explain this either at the time, or perhaps in the future:

Letters — Write a letter to your child for the adoptive parents to read to him or her later in life. It’s important that this letter comes from your own words and from your heart. Explain why you made the decision, how much you love him or her and how he or she will always be in your heart. Sometimes, handwritten can have the best affect.

Lifebooks — Consider doing a photo book. Known as lifebooks, these scrapbooks can include photographs about you and the birthfather so that over time the child can get to know you. For some ideas on photo books, see this example.

Make something for the child — Making a blanket or a stuffed animal for the baby or buying something for the child to keep and be told is from you is a great way for the child to have something tangible that represents your love. One idea is that you might consider a stuffed animal “mother and baby” so that you can keep the baby and the child will have the matching “mother”. If you are okay with parting with a stuffed animal or toy that you had as a child, that is a wonderful link to you as well for the child to keep.

Books about Adoption — Purchase a children’s book about adoption and inscribe on the inside something from your heart … like ”never forget how much I love you!” etc. For a list of children’s books about adoption see this list.

Naming the child — Ask the adoptive parents to work with you on choosing a name for the child. Many parents will often incorporate part of their name into the child’s name, or perhaps part of the name that the birthparent was going to pick. To start, ask the adoptive parents to tell the child where his/her name came from and build on that. Names are a touchy subject and if you are uncomfortable bringing up the suggestion, sometimes a counselor can help. If you don’t have a counselor, email or ask the question in a note to the adoptive parents and make sure they understand you’re coming from the heart. While many parents are skittish to make such a request, it’s common for adoptive parents to be very helpful here as they want the child to form strong and healthy bonds.

Stay in touch. Both with open and semi-open adoptions, you can send letters and pictures over the years to your child – Birthday cards, Valentine’s cards, and all other holidays. Send the card in advance so the child actually receives on his/her holiday celebration and remembers that you were planning this ahead of time! Your pictures show the child how you are doing and can help form stronger bonds.

Send clothes. Ask the adoptive parents for the current size the child wears and send some thoughtful clothing, perhaps married to the current season or weather.

Visits — Remember, the best way to connect with a child and show them you care is to visit and do so enthusiastically and lovingly!

Happily Ever After: Adoption Stories

Adoption, Family - August 23, 2015

A pregnant woman who makes the difficult decision to place her child for adoption may do so for many unselfish reasons. Perhaps she is young and doesn’t feel ready for the tremendous responsibility of raising a child. Perhaps finances or family situations make it difficult to bring a child into the fold.

Regardless of the reason, a birth mom still wants to ensure that her child grows up in a loving home. She wants to know if the adoptive parents will treat the child well. She wants assurance that the child will be truly loved, and will feel like a natural part of the family.

At A Child’s Hope, we talk with adoptive parents at different points before, during and after the adoption process, and we hear wonderfully reassuring success stories of how an adoption led to a “happily ever after” ending for both the child and the adoptive family.

Here are a couple of examples:

Deanna’s Story

Placement Day Photo Deanna always knew she wanted to be a mom, but a physical condition made it unlikely that she could safely become pregnant and give birth. By the time she was married and ready to start a family, several relatives offered to become surrogates, but Deanna had researched adoption and knew it was the best option for her and her husband, Ben.

Deanna and Ben adopted their first child, Ava, through A Child’s Hope. Although their little girl has a different heritage and doesn’t look like them, her personality is a blend of both of theirs. A few years later, Deanna and Ben adopted a second child, and three years after that, they completed their family with the adoption of a third child.

Both the second and third child were premature and required special care and attention early in life, but with love and support from their family, both children are healthy, happy and thriving.

“Not a day goes by that I do not look at my kids and think how lucky I am to be their mother,” Deanna says.

Ava’s birth mother knows that Ava is doing well because she receives photos and letters on a schedule that she, Deanna and Ben agreed upon before the baby’s placement.

Tracy’s Story

placement day photo2 Tracy was nearly 40-years-old, and had always wanted a family. Unfortunately, she had not met Mr. Right, and wondered if having a husband or a child would be in her future. She began to think about adoption, but was concerned about taking it on as a single mom. However the more she began to consider it, the more she knew in her heart that this was the right answer.

Tracy adopted a little girl ten years ago. “She is my daughter. She always comes first. Adopting Mia is the best thing I have ever done and I would absolutely do it again. “

Although Tracy and Mia are of different races, it doesn’t matter to either—in their home, family, like love, is colorblind.

Mia’s birth mother did not have to wonder if Mia was happy. Over the years, she has received photos and letters from Tracy, as agreed upon before Mia’s birth, reinforcing to Mia’s birthmother that she had made the right decision.

Our success stories are more the rule than the exception. Birth mothers who are considering placing their child for adoption, are encouraged to contact A Child’s Hope on our 24-hour hotline at 877-890-4673 or text “pregnant” to 919-971-4396. Our compassionate counselors can listen and provide the information you need to make the best decision for you and your child.

*names have been changed to protect privacy

Pregnancy: What to Know About the Third Trimester

Adoption - August 10, 2015

The last trimester of pregnancy can be at time of anticipation and anxiety. In a few short weeks, your baby will be born. It’s an exciting time, preparing for the baby’s arrival. But it can also be scary or difficult as the tremendous responsibility you’re undertaking becomes more real.

Baby’s Development in the Third Trimester

During this period, the baby is growing at a phenomenal rate. The eyes open and in this trimester, begin to detect light. Bones fully develop, the nervous system continues to develop, fingernails and toenails have grown, and brain and lungs are fully formed by the end of this trimester.

Although the length of pregnancy is conventionally given as 40 weeks, that is really an estimate. A baby is considered at term at 37 weeks, but babies born even early in the third trimester can survive out of the womb. At the same time, not all babies are born by 40 weeks. They may be born a week to 10 days after the 40 week mark—often a result of an inaccurate conception date. Your doctor will monitor the baby’s development to make sure the baby is progressing as he or she should.

Changes For You During the Third Trimester

Just as the baby grows tremendously during this third trimester, you’ll notice significant changes in your own body.

The baby’s increased weight makes itself known—you may feel the strain in your back or pelvic region. Some women find relief sleeping with a pillow between their legs to ease pressure. As the baby takes up more room in the uterus, you may feel more digestive discomfort. Pregnancy hormones affect the muscles in the body, so you may get heartburn as the muscles at the top of the stomach relax, allowing digestive acids to go into the esophagus. With the uterus growing, it pushes the stomach up, closer to the throat, making it harder to digest food. Eating frequent, small meals of nutritious but non-spicy foods can help.

Many women become increasingly tired this last trimester, as the body tries to adjust to the additional weight and internal activity. Other changes include constipation, hemorrhoids, varicose veins and swelling. If you experience any bleeding or spotting, be sure to contact your doctor.

Considerations for the Third Trimester

As you enter the final weeks of pregnancy, it is important to prepare for your baby’s arrival. For some women, this is still a time of uncertainty, particularly for those who are considering placing their baby for adoption. It is not easy to sort through the pros and cons of such a difficult decision, and it is often hard to find someone to talk to. At A Child’s Hope, we understand. Our counselors are available to listen and talk with women throughout their pregnancy about adoption, providing a compassionate ear and valuable information. For more information, please call our 24-hour hotline at 877-890-4673 or text “pregnant” to 919-971-4396.

The Cost of Being Pregnant—And Where To Get Financial Support

Adoption, Children, Education, Family - July 18, 2015

It’s no surprise that raising a child can be expensive. A recent estimate puts the price tag $245,340. But what may be surprising is the financial cost women incur even before the baby is born, during pregnancy.

To have a healthy pregnancy, it is important to anticipate these costs, and learn where to go for financial help if needed.

Initial Medical Costs

Regular pre-natal doctor visits are essential for the wellbeing of you and your baby. Your doctor is likely to prescribe a prenatal vitamin that contains folic acid, which gives your body the additional nutrients necessary to help the baby develop normally, and that can help prevent birth defects. Your doctor may give additional prescriptions if you are anemic or have other health conditions to be addressed.

During the pregnancy, you will likely have certain screenings and tests to ensure the pregnancy is progressing as it should, without taking too great a toll on your own health. If you have complications during the pregnancy, or a pre-existing health issue, your doctor may require additional testing to monitor the situation.

WebMD, a health news site, estimates the cost of prenatal care in an uncomplicated pregnancy to range from $0 – $2000, and the cost of prenatal vitamins as $15 per month.

Where to get financial help: You may be eligible for help through Medicaid, a governmental program for low-income individuals.

Maternity Clothes

Some women make it through their pregnancy wearing loose shirts and drawstring pants to accommodate the baby bump, but others may need traditional maternity clothes. If you are working through the pregnancy, your needs will be determined by your work dress code.

Many women get through the pregnancy without spending much on clothes by combing through their own wardrobe for comfortable clothes, borrowing from friends and family, and looking for good finds, including sale items in the men’s department or clothes from local thrift or resale shops.

Food

It’s not fair that healthy food is often more expensive than junk food. Making nutritious choices for meals gives your baby the best chance for a great start in life, but when you’re on a tight budget, it may be difficult to balance to maintain. Consider preparing foods yourself, instead of eating out. Enjoy frozen fruits and vegetables, which have similar nutritional value as fresh produce, but are often less expensive. Build meals around beans, which are inexpensive and great forms of protein. Shop sale items, especially for lean meats. The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s (USDA) Choose My Plate offers more tips on healthy eating, at low cost.

Where to get help: If you need food, search foodpantries.org. there are several locations across Raleigh

Another program in North Carolina, known as Women, Infants and Children (WIC) provides healthy foods for pregnant women who live in the state. Click on the WIC website or call the Department of Health and Human Services’ Customer Service Center at 1-800-662-7030 (TTY: 1-877-452-2514).

Labor and Delivery

Hospital labor and delivery costs can range from no charge to $30,000 for a vaginal delivery to $50,000 for a C-section. Some insurances may cover some or all of the cost, but the remaining portion can still be huge. If you or the baby has a complication, the costs will only increase.

But this is not a category to bargain hunt. Taking good care of yourself and the baby during pregnancy is a good way to decrease your risk of a complicated delivery.

Where to get financial help: You may be eligible for help through Medicaid, a governmental program for low-income applicants.

Emergency Savings for Recovery

After delivery, your body needs time to physically recover. Doctors typically suggest taking six weeks of medical leave, although some studies say the body needs a full year. If you have worked through the pregnancy, your recovery time may or may not be covered by sick days or vacation. Be sure to anticipate this loss of income by saving in advance.

Having a baby is a significant financial responsibility—one that starts even before the baby is born. If finances are a consideration, explore the resources mentioned above for help.

If you are considering placing your child for adoption, keep in mind that many of the pregnancy costs may be taken care of by the adoptive family. For more information on that possibility, please contact A Child’s Hope, 1-877-890-4673, where our compassionate counselors can provide information as you explore your options.

The Benefits of Open Adoption

Adoption, Children, Family - July 7, 2015

Thirty years ago, when a woman had an unplanned pregnancy, she often was sent to a convent or a maternity home until the baby was born. Afterward, her family and friends did not discuss that she ever gave birth. With the typical closed or confidential adoption, she had no contact with the child after it was adopted. On the other side, many adoptive parents never told their children they were adopted.

But times have changed, with a welcome trend toward openness and acceptance about adoption. Now, birthmothers attend school until their due date; continue working; name their babies; and are able to spend time with their babies at the hospital. Their friends, co-workers and relatives know about the pregnancy and the adoption plan. Adoptive parents know the birth parents and may treat them as extended family. One study shows that 95% of today’s adoptions are open, at least to some degree.

However, when I sit with prospective adoptive parents to talk about adoption, there is still a learning curve about openness in adoption. Here are some details about open adoption that may help.

What are Open Adoptions?

When you agree to an open adoption, it means that you as a birth parent can have some type of contact with the adoptive parent and adopted child. That may be indirectly, through letters and photos, or more directly, through phone calls and visits. In many cases, the birth mother can help select the adoptive families and that the child grows up aware he or she is adopted. The amount of contact depends on everyone’s level of comfort—it may be in the form of an occasional letter, or it may be sharing holidays together. With open adoption, the adoptive parents retain their legal rights and responsibilities for raising the child, but the birth parent has an opportunity to be involved in the child’s life.

Birth and adoptive parents can decide on varying degrees of openness. For example, a birth mother may want to select the family, but not maintain contact later. In an open adoption, she may want to be able to have direct contact with the child and adoptive family, but in a semi-open adoption, she may prefer to communicate through a lawyer or social worker. With agreement, the amount and frequency of contact may also change over time.

Advantages of Open Adoptions

Numerous studies and stories have shown how closed adoptions affect everyone involved. The birth parents often feel a life-long sense of grief and loss, with no opportunity to see the child. Adoptive parents may have questions about the child’s background that can never be answered, since no communication with the birth parents is allowed. The adoptive children may be the ones who have the most difficulty, because they cannot access their history, have no sense of connection with their birth family and may often wonder what circumstances of their birth led to the secret of adoption.

In contrast, research reported by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute says that birth mothers in open adoptions have less worry and grief than those in closed adoptions, and are better able to adjust after the adoption. Adoptive parents also have positive experiences, and that the openness actually reduced fears of losing their child to the birth parents. Adopted teens said that open adoptions allowed them to understand why they were placed for adoption, helped increase positive feelings for the birth mother and enabled the teens to better understand who they were, in connection to their birth and adoptive families.

Could An Open Adoption Be Right For You?

The Child Welfare Information Gateway, part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, suggests asking these questions:

Do I want to have a say in who will raise my child?
Does it matter to me if I won’t know if my child is safe and healthy?
Do I want to watch my child grow up through photos, letters, phone calls or visits?
Do I want to be able to tell my child about his or her family background or other important information in the future?
Do I want my child to know, for example, if he or she looks or acts like someone else in the family?

A yes to any of these questions may mean open adoption is a good option. Remember: to be effective, an open adoption requires ongoing trust, communication and flexibility on all sides.

If you’d like to learn more about adoption—open, closed, or have other questions, please call A Child’s Hope today at 877-890-4673 or text “Pregnant” to 919-971-4396. Our experienced, compassionate counselors can provide the information you need to make the best decision for you and your child.

9 Essential Ways for a Birth Mother To Take Care During Pregnancy

Adoption, Children, Education - June 25, 2015

As a birth mother, your goal is the same as of any pregnant woman—to deliver a healthy child while staying healthy yourself.

Pregnancy puts an understandable strain on the body, which basically becomes a complete life support system for the baby. Making sure that life support system is strong and vital increases the baby’s chances to survive and thrive. But it’s not just the baby to be concerned about—pregnancy affects every part of the body, from your heart, digestive system, skeletal system, digestive system, skin—even your brain.

That’s why taking care of yourself during pregnancy is so important—your body has important work to do, and in order to complete that work—and recover from it—it is important to follow these tips to stay healthy.

Schedule and attend all of your prenatal doctor visits. Although they are often routine, prenatal visits confirm the baby is growing and developing on schedule, and that you remain healthy. Your doctor can diagnose pregnancy complications such as anemia, high blood pressure or gestational diabetes, even before you may feel symptoms. Free prenatal care is available through state organizations, such as NC Association of Free Clinics.

Take your vitamins. Get your body off to a healthy start even if you have not seen your doctor yet. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends pregnant women take 400 mgs of folic acid every day—an important B vitamin that can reduce the risk of birth defects like spina bifida. The AAP also says to consider taking a daily prenatal vitamin that contains iron, calcium and the fatty acids DHA and ARA.

Eat a healthy diet. There’s a reason pregnant women are told they are eating for two—they are. You need 300 calories per day more than your usual to help the baby develop. A healthy diet is one that contains protein, carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals and fats. Your doctor can suggest the best combination for you, but the Mayo Clinic provides some helpful guidelines.

Get enough rest. Easy to say, hard to do—but important. Whether you are working, going to school, or have other children or commitments, it is still important that you get rest during the day and sleep at night. This peaceful time gives your body a chance to recover from some of the stresses of pregnancy—physical and emotional, and is vital to your wellbeing.

Exercise. Doctors encourage exercise during pregnancy unless a particular health concern suggests otherwise. Your doctor may clear you to continue your regular exercise routine, or suggest activities that have low impact on your body, such as walking, swimming or yoga. Exercise can relieve backaches and improve posture, provide strong muscles that are useful during delivery, and can help women gain less weight during pregnancy.

Take care of your emotional wellbeing. Pregnancy is an emotional time—whether because of surging hormones or because of the life changes ahead. Make sure you have a support system of friends, family, counselors, or mentors who can provide encouragement and comfort when you need it.

Avoid substances and activities that can harm you or the baby. Smoking or being around smoke, taking drugs or drinking alcohol can be harmful to you and the baby. Although some studies say that moderate drinking during pregnancy may be okay, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention puts it quite plainly: there’s no known amount of alcohol that’s safe to drink during pregnancy.

Avoid foods unsafe to eat during pregnancy. Unpasteurized milk, soft cheeses, undercooked meats can contain bacteria that can make you sick and possibly harm the baby.

Ask for, and be willing to receive help. Whether it’s asking a neighbor to watch your toddler so you can take a much needed nap, asking a family member for a ride to the doctor or let a friend do a load of laundry.

Taking care during pregnancy means making sure you and the baby have the physical and emotional nurturing you need—giving you both the best chances for a healthy life.

Creating Family Through The Miracle of Adoption!

We feel like the luckiest people in the world to have created our family through the miracle of adoption! We have two children – Neva and Marco. We chose to work with A Child’s Hope because we liked the idea of having a North Carolina adoption and we felt like they could guide us through this complex process.

Six weeks after completing our adoption homestudy and paperwork, we were matched with a birth mom! Our son Marco was born on a gorgeous fall day. I remember thinking, “today would be a good day to be born,” and then we got the call from the agency. Ten fingers, ten toes, and a healthy baby boy was waiting for us! He has been a delight.

When Marco was 18 months-old, we decided it was time to expand our family again. It was not long after completing our paperwork again that we got the call. This time, we did an independent match with a birth mom in Texas. She picked us because of Marco. She wanted a big brother for her baby! A few weeks later, Neva was born and we were on an airplane to Texas to meet our angel! We finalized Neva’s adoption with A Child’s Hope.

We send letters and pictures to Marco’s Birth mom twice a year. We have never met her, but we love her and know that she has given us the greatest gift possible. We have an open adoption with Neva’s Birth mom. We talk on the phone, visit her in Texas, and exchange letters and pictures. She is an important part of our lives. Adoption creates a bigger extended family. Our children are surrounded by love and we are certain that we were all meant to be together. Adoption has made us a family.

A Big thank you to Neva and Marco’s family for sharing their adoption stories!

Do you have a story you’d like to tell? Email us at blog.ach@foryourlife.com. Visit us at www.achildshope.com, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

Pregnancy Hotline: call or text (919) 971-4396

Want to Adopt a Child? Call (919) 839-8800

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