families

Shining a Light on Adoption: Celebrating Adoption Awareness Month

November is a special month that shines a spotlight on a journey that forever changes lives – adoption. It’s a time when communities, adoption agencies, and families come together to celebrate Adoption Awareness Month. At A Child’s Hope, we are deeply committed to supporting and promoting the beautiful and loving process of adoption. In this Article, we explore the significance of Adoption Awareness Month, its impact on families, and the importance of advocating for the welfare of babies in need of loving families.

Understanding Adoption Awareness Month

Adoption Awareness Month, also known as National Adoption Month, has been celebrated since 1976. Its primary aim is to raise awareness about the urgent need for adoptive families for children waiting in the foster care system, but it also serves to honor all forms of adoption and the incredible journeys it entails. Many of the children placed through the agency were at risk for Department of Social Services intervention as they grew older were they not placed for adoption. 

The Heart of Adoption: Building Families

Adoption is an extraordinary journey of love, hope, and resilience. For birth parents, it may involve making a deeply emotional and selfless decision to provide a secure and loving home for their child. For adoptive families, it’s the fulfillment of a dream to nurture and raise a child, making the child an integral part of their family.

Supporting Birth Parents and Adoptive Families

At A Child’s Hope, we recognize that the path to adoption is a unique and often emotional journey for birth parents and adoptive families. We are dedicated to offering guidance, support, and expert assistance to help all parties involved make the best decisions for themselves and their children.

The Miracle of Family through Adoption

Adoption creates families that defy cultural, racial, and geographical boundaries. It underscores the belief that family is built on love and acceptance, regardless of differences. Adoptive families come in all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds, beautifully reflecting a diverse society.

Myths Debunked: The Truth about Adoption

Let’s dispel some common myths about adoption:

  1. Adoption is not a second-best choice: It’s a deliberate, wonderful way to grow a family.

  2. Adoption isn’t just for couples facing infertility: It’s open to anyone with the capacity to provide love, care, and stability to a child.

  3. Adoption isn’t a one-time event: It’s an ongoing journey filled with joy, challenges, and personal growth.

The Importance of Open Adoption

Open adoption, a concept gaining popularity, emphasizes maintaining varying degrees of contact and communication between birth parents, adoptive families, and adopted children. This approach fosters trust, understanding, and a strong sense of identity for the child. Children placed in open adoption do not have to fervently search for their biological parents as they grow older because the birth family and the adoptive family have been in touch since the beginning.

Get Involved: Make a Difference

Adoption Awareness MonthAdoption Awareness Month is not only about celebrating adoption but also about making a tangible difference in the lives of children in need of loving homes. You can:

  • Become an Advocate: Raise awareness about adoption in your community.
  • Consider Adoption: If you’ve ever thought about adoption, now might be the perfect time to explore this journey. Learn more about A Child’s Hope, click here.
  • Support Birth Parents: Empower and support birth parents in their courageous choices.

Adoption Awareness Month is an opportunity to honor the remarkable journey of adoption and the extraordinary families it creates. It’s a time to dispel myths, raise awareness, and encourage more families to open their hearts to the gift of family through adoption. Together, we can make a meaningful difference in the lives of children and parents, ensuring that every child finds a loving and nurturing forever home.

Citations and References:

  1. Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2021). National Adoption Month.
  2. Adoption Council. (2021). National Adoption Month 2021.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month: Supporting Mothers and Families on Their Healing Journey

October marks Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month, a solemn time to recognize mothers who have experienced the profound loss of a pregnancy or an infant. The grief associated with such losses are immeasurable, and it is important to extend support and empathy. What are ways we can offer meaningful support to mothers and families who have endured the heartbreak of losing their babies. 

Understanding the Grief of Pregnancy and Infant Loss

Pregnancy and infant loss encompass a range of experiences, including miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, and infant loss due to various health complications. Each of these losses brings its own unique challenges and complexities. Grieving mothers may go through a rollercoaster of emotions, from sadness and guilt to anger and isolation. Acknowledging and respecting these feelings is the first step in providing meaningful support.  

Resources in NC for Pregnancy and Infant Loss

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month Matters

Recognizing this month helps create a safe and open space for mothers to share their stories, connect with others who have gone through similar losses, and educate the broader community about the importance of sensitivity and empathy in such difficult circumstances. 

Ways to Extend Support to Grieving Mothers 

  1. Listen Actively: Sometimes, the most powerful support is the gift of a listening ear. Encourage grieving mothers to share their thoughts and emotions without judgment or interruption. Being present and allowing those to express their feelings can be profoundly comforting. 
  1. Choose Words Carefully: Be mindful of your choice of words when interacting with a grieving mother. Avoid clichés or statements that might unintentionally trivialize her pain. Instead, offer words of sympathy and comfort, such as “I’m here for you” and “I’m so sorry for your loss.” 
  1. Remember Significant Dates: Mark important dates like the due date or the anniversary of the loss and reach out to the mother on those days. A simple message or a thoughtful gesture can provide solace during these particularly challenging times. 
  1. Respect Their Healing Process: Grief is a highly individualized journey, and there is no set timetable for healing. Understand that the grieving process can be prolonged and that emotions may resurface unexpectedly. Offer ongoing support, even as time passes. 
  1. Connect to Resources: Inform mothers about available resources such as support groups, therapists, and online communities dedicated to helping parents who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. Professional help can provide valuable assistance in the healing process. 
  1. Assist with Practical Matters: Offer help with everyday tasks like cooking, cleaning, or childcare to alleviate some of the burdens that grieving mothers may face. Acts of kindness can go a long way in showing your support. 
  1. Create a Memorial: Encourage mothers to create a tangible memorial for their baby, whether it’s a special garden, a photo album, or a personalized keepsake. This can provide a meaningful way for them to honor their child’s memory. 

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month remind us of the significance of supporting grieving mothers and families as they navigate the challenging journey of loss. By offering empathy, compassion, and practical assistance, we can help these mothers heal and honor the memory of their beloved babies. Let us embrace this month as an opportunity to raise awareness, promote understanding, and extend a helping hand to those who need it most, citing valuable resources along the way. 

Sources:

https://www.tcf.org.uk/resources/LP02Helping-Bereaved-Parents-C12-R1601.pdf

https://americanpregnancy.org/

https://stillstandingmag.com/category/dealing-with-others-in-grief/supporting-a-friend-after-loss/

https://nationalshare.org

https://www.marchofdimes.org/

https://ideas.hallmark.com/articles/baby-ideas/what-to-say-when-a-friend-loses-a-baby-messages-of-love-and-support/

https://pregnancyafterlosssupport.org

Baby Safety Month: Top Tips for Ensuring Infant Safety

September is Baby Safety Month! We will explore 4 tips for keeping your baby safe.

     1. Safe Sleep Practices

Creating a safe sleep environment is fundamental for your infant’s safety. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends the following guidelines for safe sleep:

  • Alone: Always place your baby in their crib, bassinet, or portable crib alone, with no pillows, blankets, or toys.
  • Back: Lay your baby on their back for all sleep times to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
  • Crib: Ensure your baby’s sleep space meets safety standards, including a firm and flat mattress.

 

     2. Childproof Your Home

Childproofing your home is essential as your baby grows more mobile. Watch for broken toys, make sure the pieces are larger in size. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) offers a comprehensive guide to childproofing your home, covering topics like preventing falls, securing furniture, and keeping hazardous items out of reach. Preventing your baby from choking on small objects is at the top of the list. And, remember soft snacks only that are easy to swallow.

     

    3. Car Seat Safety and Baby Gates

Proper car seat use is non-negotiable for infant safety during travel. Look up resources in your local community for help if you have questions. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) provides guidelines on selecting and installing the right car seat and keeping your child rear-facing for as long as recommended.  As your baby begins to crawl, Baby gates can be heavily employed to keep babies away from the many things that pose hazards to them – drawers with sharp objects, rooms with open electrical sockets, pools, and more.

    4. Regular Check ups

Don’t forget regular pediatric check-ups are essential for your baby’s well-being. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends a schedule of well-child visits to monitor your baby’s growth and development.

 

Baby Safety Month is a time to recommit ourselves to the safety and well-being of our infants. Whether you are adopting a newborn or welcoming a baby into your family by birth, these safety tips are crucial to a secure environment. Prioritizing safety allows you to fully enjoy the joys of parenthood while giving your child the best possible start in life.

Adoption Books for Kids – Little Miss Spider

It’s never too early to talk to your little one about being adopted, and there are some great children’s books out there to help. One of our favorites is Little Miss Spider. In the book, Little Miss Spider learns that family is about love, not what you look like.  On the very first day of Miss Spider’s life, she pops out of her egg to find her brothers and sisters scooting all around her. But where is her mother? Lucky for Little Miss Spider, kind and caring Betty Beetle is there to fill the role. Storyteller and artist David Kirk has brilliantly created a lively and sweet adoption story in which Miss Spider searches high and low before happily discovering that a mother’s love can come from many sources.

The story is also available on YouTube or you can check it out on Amazon.

Some of the questions your child will ask may be difficult, but if you plan ahead, those difficult conversations will become incredible bonding experiences.

Honoring Hispanic Heritage Month

It is a great time to learn more about the diversity of Hispanic and Latina/e/o/x experiences and cultures. In 2020, the U.S. Hispanic population was an estimated 62 million out of the total U.S. population of 331.4 million.

When Is Hispanic Heritage Month observed?

Hispanic Heritage Month is observed every year for a month from September 15 to October 15.
September 15 was chosen as the starting point for the celebration because it is the anniversary of the independence of five Latin American countries: Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, and Nicaragua. All declared independence in 1821.

In addition, Mexico, Chile, and Belize celebrate their independence days on September 16, September 18, and September 21, respectively. Hispanic Heritage Month was established through legislation in 1968 under President Lyndon B. Johnson and was later expanded when the 30-day period was implemented in 1988 by President Ronald Reagan.

Some Hispanic Heritage Facts!

  • The term Hispanic or Latino, as defined by the U.S. census bureau refers to Puerto Rican, south or central American, or other Spanish culture or origin regardless of race.
  • Oscar Hijuelos, author of the “the mambo kings play songs of love” was the first Hispanic writer to win a Pulitzer prize for fiction.
  • Dr. Ellen Ochoa was the first Hispanic woman astronaut to go to space. Tom Fears was the first Hispanic Football Hall of Fame Inductee.

What’s the Difference Between Hispanic and Latino, Latin, or Latinx?

Language is ever-evolving and the term Hispanic is used to describe many groups of people. That being said, here’s a breakdown of individual preferences to consider:

  • Hispanic is defined as relating to Spain, or Spanish-speaking countries. The word was first widely popularized through its use in the U.S. Census of 1970. It typically classifies people based on language.
  • Latino refers to the geographical location of a person’s country of origin or their ancestors, typically with cultural ties to Latin America.
  • Latinx and Latin are gender-neutral forms of the word Latino or Latina.

Creating Family Through The Miracle of Adoption!

SantaWe feel like the luckiest people in the world to have created our family through the miracle of adoption! We have two children – Neva and Marco. We chose to work with A Child’s Hope because we liked the idea of having a North Carolina adoption and we felt like they could guide us through this complex process.

Six weeks after completing our adoption homestudy and paperwork, we were matched with a birth mom! Our son Marco was born on a gorgeous fall day. I remember thinking, “today would be a good day to be born,” and then we got the call from the agency. Ten fingers, ten toes, and a healthy baby boy was waiting for us!  He has been a delight.

When Marco was 18 months-old, we decided it was time to expand our family again. It was not long after completing our paperwork again that we got the call. This time, we did an independent match with a birth mom in Texas. She picked us because of Marco. She wanted a big brother for her baby!  A few weeks later, Neva was born and we were on an airplane to Texas to meet our angel!  We finalized Neva’s adoption with A Child’s Hope.

We send letters and pictures to Marco’s Birth mom twice a year. We have never met her, but we love her and know that she has given us the greatest gift possible. We have an open adoption with Neva’s Birth mom. We talk on the phone, visit her in Texas, and exchange letters and pictures. She is an important part of our lives. Adoption creates a bigger extended family. Our children are surrounded by love and we are certain that we were all meant to be together.  Adoption has made us a family.

A Big thank you to Neva and Marco’s family for sharing their adoption stories!

Do you have a story you’d like to tell? Email us at blog.ach@foryourlife.com. Visit us at www.achildshope.com, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

The Journey to Becoming a Parent Through Adoption!

NewbornAs a child, I dreamed of becoming many things: a doctor, a ballerina, and a marine biologist, but, more than anything else in the world, I wanted to be a mom someday. However, as a teen, I realized that due to being born with heart defects, my dream of becoming a mom, at least biologically, may not be possible. At the time, I did not know anyone who was adopted, but, starting in college, I began to hear more and more about adoption and met both children and adults who were adopted. When I got married just after graduating, two family members and my best friend offered to be surrogates for my husband and me when we were ready to start a family, but by that time I knew that someday I was meant to become a mom through adoption!

My husband and I adopted our first child, Bella, seven and-a-half years ago through A Child’s Hope. Though the whole process took less than 6 months, it was not without its ups and downs. Just before we matched with Bella’s birth mother, we were matched with another birth mother whom we met but who ultimately chose to parent. It was hard to get past the pain of this revocation, but about a month later we became parents to our beautiful Bella, who does not look like us due to her Honduran heritage, but whose personality is a perfect combination of my husband’s and my own.

Two and-a-half years later, we adopted our son, Carter, again through A Child’s Hope. This time we knew we wanted a Hispanic child so that Bella could have a sibling that shared her wonderful heritage that we had learned so much about during the first few years of her life. Carter was born about 6 weeks early, less than a week after we matched with his birth mother. He had some health issues the few first years of his life but is now an always on the go, a super-ready for Kindergarten 5-year-old.

While Bella and Carter truly made my dream of becoming a mother come true, being one of four children, I felt that I had room for more children in my heart and we had more room in our house. Bella, while having a great bond with her brother, wished all the time for “a baby sister named Maia.” So when Carter turned 3, we decided to start the adoption process again, this time specifically with the goal of adopting a little girl. We decided to sign with an adoption referral service this time to find a birth mother in a different state with a shorter revocation period than NC and ended up matching with a birth mother in NV. Like her brother, Carter, Maia Jane could not wait to join our family and ended up being born at Thanksgiving instead of around Christmas when her birth mother was scheduled to have a C-section. We ended up spending about 2 weeks in NV with my mom, Bella, and Carter, the first week of which Maia was in the NICU. Since we had gotten to know everyone at A Child’s Hope so well, we had Bobby Mills finalize our adoption of Maia in NC.

Not a day goes by that I do not look at my kids and think how lucky I am to be their mother but also how it all really seems meant to be! There is no doubt that adoption is a roller coaster, and I am not a big fan of roller coasters, but, as I have been told about childbirth, once your child is in your arms, the joy you experience erases from your mind any pain you experienced.

Thank you to Lyla and her family for sharing their story with us!

Do you have a story you’d like to tell?  Email us at blog.ach@foryourlife.com.  Visit us at www.AChildsHope.com, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

Adoption: How Much Does It Cost?

Overwhelmed by the costs of adoption? It may not be quite what you think…

Individuals and couples wishing to have a child but unable to do so naturally typically have two options: adoption or assisted reproduction (ART).  Both options are relatively comparable in cost, with the average price of a domestic adoption in the United States ranging from $20,000-$45,000 and a donor egg pregnancy via in vitro fertilization priced between $20,000-$35,000.  If, however, you require a donor embryo, the cost could be $7,500-$20,000, and gestational carrier/surrogacy can drive the cost from $50,000 to over $100,000.

Assuming, however, you are looking simply at the comparable donor egg option, one important thing to keep in mind is that adoption, unlike assisted reproduction, offers a federal tax credit and many employers offer credits as well.  For a couple with combined annual incomes of less than $180,000, the federal adoption credit could be up to $13,190.  Employer tax credits typically range from $2,000-$5,000 and are offered by companies like SAS, CISCO, IBM, the United States Department of Defense and many others.

I encourage clients to determine first how much these credits will offset their cost of adoption to determine their ‘bottom-line’ cost.

So now that you have done your cost analysis, how do you afford your ‘bottom-line’?  Most adoptive families are middle-income and are able to work out the costs over time.  Options for financing an adoption include:

  • Borrowing against home equity, allowing a deduction while waiting for the tax credit;
  • Borrowing against a retirement or 401K plan
  • Grants and adoption assistance programs through public and private organizations;
  • Asking family members and relatives to assist with cost

Where there’s a will, there’s a way!

E. Parker Herring is a Board Certified Family Law Specialist and managing partner of Herring & Mills, PLLC, a Raleigh family law firm.  Herring is also director of A Child’s Hope, a North Carolina licensed adoption agency.

Do you have a story you’d like to tell?  Email us at blog.ach@foryourlife.com.  Visit us at www.AChildsHope.com, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

Adopting and Raising a Child with Special Needs Can Be a Blessing

Adopting and raising a child with special needs is not for everyone….

There are many adoptive parents who have taken on the loving and demanding job of adopting and raising a child with special needs. These parents in my mind are as special as the children they adopt.

What I hear frequently from adoptive parents who are offered the opportunity to adopt a child  born with special needs is that  if they had given birth to the child they wouldn’t hesitate.  They think of the child as their own almost from the start and they become fierce advocates.  For many its a lifetime commitment.

One of my favorite memories as an adoption agency director is seeing a three year old named Matthew laughing at a local mall as he tried to  run away from his parents, Jack and Peggy.  His parents smiled broadly, they were so proud.  He was a beautiful toddler , with black curls and a smile that was  big and open.  And he didn’t walk, he ran…

“And this is the child that we were told might never walk, “ Peggy said “And look at him now. We have to run to keep up.“  The family added another son by adoption, Michael,  # of years later. The brothers are best friends!

Michael  was born with a life threatening physical condition called esophageal fistula. He was airlifted shortly after birth to a major medical center. Jack and Peggy were with him while he had 7  operations, first to connect his esophagus to his stomach and then later to remove a finger that didn’t function and construct a thumb from his index finger.  He still has challenges swallowing and has had four procedures in the last two years.

Jack and Peggy’s  time and heart commitment has been enormous . Michael is now thirteen years old and doing well.  “You have to take on what you feel you can handle,” Peggy said recently. “We feel blessed. “

Thank you to Director Parker Herring and parents Jack and Peggy for allowing us to share their story.

Do you have a story you’d like to tell?  Email us at blog.ach@foryourlife.com.  Visit us at www.AChildsHope.com, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

When a Long Adoption Wait Ends with Just a Few Days Notice!

Bill-Priscila-Baby

Bill and Priscila have been waiting for over three years to adopt a brother or sister for their son Thomas, who was placed with them five and a half years ago in the Agency’s offices.  Yesterday was the the end to their long adoption journey…

Bill and Priscila  were notified by the Agency on Tuesday and offered the opportunity to adopt a nine pound baby boy who was a last minute placement.  They got it together in two days time and came with smiles and a car seat!

Sometimes birth mothers make last minute decisions at the hospital to place their baby for adoption, and when they do, there is a lot of  hard work done by many people to make the last minute placement work. Social workers, attorneys and staff scramble to make birth mom’s situation and the baby’s transition go as smoothly as possible.

Today, this nine pound baby named Lucas was dressed for Christmas and handed over to the adoptive parents by his respite care provider. It was worth the wait his parents said. Big brother Thomas leaned down to his brother in the car seat before they left the agency and when asked what he thought about his new baby brother, Thomas grinned and  said “So far he’s been pretty good .”

A Big thank you to Bill, Priscila, Thomas and Lucas for allowing us to tell the story of their adoption journey!

Do you have a story you’d like to tell?  Email us at blog.ach@foryourlife.com.  Visit us at www.AChildsHope.com, or call if you are a birth mother, please call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

Birthmother Hotline: (877) 890-4673

Envia Un Texto: (919) 218-6270

Text: Pregnant to (919) 971-4396