Family

Alyssa Shares Why Adoption Was Right for Baby Lola

Adoption, Family -
(from left to right) Lola with her birth father; Lola’s adoptive parents Mike & Jennifer; Alyssa with 1st daughter Lexi 

Alyssa was 22 when she found out she was pregnant with her second child. She was already caring for her first daughter Lexi. “My first daughter was a toddler still and I was neither emotionally nor financially ready to care for a second child,” Alyssa shares. Like every mother, she was worried. “Both of them deserved the best love and care available to them, whether or not it was by me.”

Now with a new bundle of joy on the way, Alyssa needed to take a hard look at the future.

While pregnant, she contacted A Child’s Hope and met with an adoption counselor to discuss placing her unborn child, Lola, for adoption. “I decided that an adoption plan was best for my family because it provides the true love and attention both daughters deserve.” 

When asked if she struggled with the decision, “the hardest part of the process was the week after leaving the hospital. I wrestled with whether I might be capable of taking care of both Lola and Lexi. It was good to know that I had a few days after Lola’s birth to change my mind. However, I stuck with my original decision.”

Alyssa goes on to say, “I have never felt I made a mistake in choosing adoption. I never doubt that Lola is loved and cherished to the fullest and that has strengthened my conviction that I made the right choice.”

Alyssa was 22 when she found out she was pregnant with her second child. She was already caring for her first daughter Lexi. “My first daughter was a toddler still and I was neither emotionally nor financially ready to care for a second child,” Alyssa shares. Like every mother, she was worried. “Both of them deserved the best love and care available to them, whether or not it was by me.”

Now with a new bundle of joy on the way, Alyssa needed to take a hard look at the future.

While pregnant, she contacted A Child’s Hope and met with an adoption counselor to discuss placing her unborn child, Lola, for adoption. “I decided that an adoption plan was best for my family because it provides the true love and attention both daughters deserve.” 

When asked if she struggled with the decision, “the hardest part of the process was the week after leaving the hospital. I wrestled with whether I might be capable of taking care of both Lola and Lexi. It was good to know that I had a few days after Lola’s birth to change my mind. However, I stuck with my original decision.”

Alyssa goes on to say, “I have never felt I made a mistake in choosing adoption. I never doubt that Lola is loved and cherished to the fullest and that has strengthened my conviction that I made the right choice.”

Part of her adoption plan included choosing and meeting the family that would raise Lola. “In choosing a family, I was looking for financially stable parents with a large supportive family and friends base. Being a military child, I really wished I had big family get-togethers growing up.”

Ultimately, she chose Mike and Jennifer to raise Lola. Together, they decided on having an open adoption with regular updates and visits. “I have an ongoing relationship with the adoptive parents and they have always share pictures with both the birth father and me. They clearly love and adore Lola and have no qualms about sharing that with us.”

This arrangement has worked out well for Alyssa. “We all visit together every couple of months. Mike & Jennifer usually let us know when they will be in town. We meet for ice cream or lunch. It’s great for the girls to play together and for the adults to talk with one another.”

While every adoption situation is different, each is based on loving and providing the best future for the child. If you are wondering if adoption is right for your child, call our Pregnancy Hotline: (877) 890-4673 or text “Pregnant” to (919) 971-4396. An adoption counselor in your area will gladly meet with you to discuss your options. There is NO JUDGEMENT and NO PRESSURE. We all want the same thing you want, the best life for your child.

Understanding Domestic Adoption

Adoption, Family, Parenting -

We recently spent some time talking with MyRDC & CW22 TV host Bill LuMaye on his show Community Matters about domestic adoption.

Agency Director, E. Parker Herring shares an overview of the adoption and A Child’s Hope.

Adoptive parents Brandon & Lydia, as well as Adam & Kate share their adoption experiences.

Adoption Counselor Supervisor Kelly Dunbar discusses a little about birth mothers and open adoption.

Birth mother Stephanie shares her experience in placing her child for adoption.

Start your Adoption Journey

Mother’s Day 2020

Adoption, Family, Parenting -

On Mother’s Day Adam & Kate share their story of adoption with Spectrum News reporter Anton Day.

Jacob was born during the beginning of COVID Pandemic when rules and policies were changing daily. Only one parent was allowed in the hospital to see Jacob and had to be screened multiple times. This means Adam did not get to see his new son for several days.

This is the second child Adam & Kate have adopted. Their first son, Anthony, is 2-years old.

Start your Adoption Journey

Six Questions About Placing a Child for Adoption During the Coronavirus

Adoption, Comunity, Education, Family - -

Q. Are adoptions still happening in NC?

A. Yes. In most counties of North Carolina are allowing filings the courts are now open, doing virtual hearings as needed.

Q. Will I be all alone at the hospital?

A. In North Carolina, we see hospitals allowing only the pregnant woman and ONE support person in the labor and delivery room. The adoptive parents are being allowed to care for the child during hospitalization after passing COVID protocols.

Q. Is there financial assistance for mothers during COVID-19?

A. Yes, we are offering more support. There are additional stressors on birth mothers due to unemployment and other critical logistics, such as fewer Uber drivers providing transportation services.

We can be flexible in how financial support is provided. We pay landlords directly, hotels by the week, and can even offer some housing expense reimbursement to your relatives if they take you in during your pregnancy.

When an Uber is not available, we are offering gas money/cards to reimburse friends or family members who provide transportation.

In addition, North Carolina law allows up to six weeks of support after delivery. So, we can help you get situated after you leave the hospital.

Q. When should I reach out to an agency about adoption for my baby?

A private adoption plan gives you choices about the family, as well as contact details between you, the family and the child as they grow.

The more notice an agency has, the more help we can give in terms of answering questions and making the process go smoothly. But, we will gladly work with you on an adoption plan at any time. We can quickly respond when childbirth is imminent, matching you with one of the nearly two dozen waiting families ready to bring a child into their home.

If you suspect that the Department of Social Services may get involved after your child is born because you are homeless or the baby may test positive for drugs, we encourage you to make your adoption plan as soon as possible, before delivery. Once DSS is involved, it is harder to make a private adoption plan and have choices regarding the family that cares for your child.

Q. Can I safely find and meet with the adopting parents?

A. Birth mothers traditionally locate an adoption agency or adoptive parent profiles through the internet. Fortunately, the internet is Coronavirus safe. All of our waiting families are listed on our website for birth parents to review. See the Family Profiles page.

At A Child’s Hope, we provide three ways for birth mothers to contact us. They call the pregnancy hotline at 877-890-4673, text Pregnant to 919-971-5663, or email admin@achildshope.com. The hotline operator then communicates with the birth mother and talks her through the process.

After the initial discussion, one of our eight adoption counselors spread throughout the state works with the mother. They communicate via phone, meet virtually, as well as arrange in-person meetings. We ask that masks and worn, but we can meet.

We provide the same options for match meetings with adoptive parents. They can occur virtually or in-person practicing proper social distancing and wearing masks.

Q: Ready to Learn More?

A: Call the pregnancy hotline TODAY at 877-890-4673, text Pregnant to 919-971-5663, or email admin@achildshope.com.

For guidance on better mental health during the pandemic, check out these resources:

Ark Behavioral Health

rehab4addiction

AddictionResources.net

Family Photos Bring JOY at the Holidays?

Family -

Every year, I subject my children to what they call “those pictures.” What they are referring to is a couple of hours of dress-up photographs around Christmastime. I frame each picture and keep them in a box with my holiday decorations. Opening that box each year and placing the photos around the house is my gift to me, and it’s the best one of all!

Taking the photos is a different story. It usually requires some wrangling, especially after our family grew to include three kids!

To get the perfect holiday picture, I have tried all kinds of poses. Of course, the obligatory newborn “stuff the baby in the big stocking.” I have a great photo of my first son Mackenzie, now 21, in the stocking wearing a green velveteen jumper accompanied by a toy reindeer. To his dismay, as he grew older, I went whole-hog on him with a Victorian outfit complete with velvet hat and knickers.

When his brother Michael, now 18, came along I dragged out the stocking, but Michael wouldn’t fit — he was already nine pounds. So, I plopped him down on a wooden sled in a Santa outfit. I cherish this picture because he was teetering to sit upright, and I had to steady him.

The next year we started our “brothers” pictures. At this point, my oldest is six and starts trying to sabotage the pictures. When their sister, Mary Parker, now 16, was born I did my last group dress-up picture. After a series of epic fails in getting them all to sit still and smile, I finally managed to capture their sister looking at the boys as they taunted her. If you look closely you can see where Mackenzie has cut a chunk out of his hair with the wrapping scissors. That was the last of the group photos for many years.

As a different twist, I decided to start taking individual pics under the tree in PJs. The kids were thankful I stopped dressing them up. It wasn’t until their teens that I could get them to pose together again.

Even with all the fussing, I never realized how much this tradition meant to them until 2017. After we had opened all our gifts, my son Michael says, “you know we are really too big to fit under the tree, what if we sat in front of the fireplace?” That picture means so much to me. For more than a year I kept it on my phone as a screen saver.

I guess the joy of holiday photos come from the memories they create. While I laugh now at the years of getting these photos, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Thank You Respite Care Providers Judy & Alan

Adoption, Children, Family -

In 1980, Judy and Alan started providing respite care for babies in Erie, PA. They moved to NC in 1995 and in 1999 began providing respite for A Child’s Hope. They have cared for more than 200 babies, 89 for A Child’s Hope.

On Dec. 19, 2019, Judy & Alan will retire. Judy shares, “It has been an incredible journey with lots of wonderful memories and we will miss it!”

Birthmother Hotline: (877) 890-4673

Envia Un Texto: (919) 218-6270

Text: Pregnant to (919) 971-4396