These children were all adopted after they were born.
Although adoption after birth is not the most common, some birth parents approach us after they have tried parenting and are struggling. A Child’s Hope has placed children who are a few months old, toddlers, preschoolers and even children as old as ten.
What we commonly hear in these cases is birth parents having issues making ends meet. Their bills are past due; they may even be facing eviction. Some parents have shared that the long hours they work to pay for daycare leave them little or no time with their child.
Rebecca & Tom’s Story
“Living homeless wasn’t what we wanted for our daughter. We wanted her to have a bed, enough to eat and regularly go to plreschool. It was a hard decision for us. But we shudder to think what would have happened if we didn’t place our daughter for adoption.” – Rebecca & Tom, birth parents
At the time, this couple was jobless, homeless and had no transportation. Their little girl has done extremely well through adoption. The adopting parents and birth parents worked together to help her transition.
Each family has a different reason for choosing adoption. Still, each situation has resulted in a child that has his/her emotional and physical needs met and is living a life that the birth parents wanted for their child. And each adoption has been open so that the birth parents can check-in at any time and see how their child is doing.
Parents of non-newborns have the same rights as all birth parents:
The right to choose the adoptive parents, meet with them and be sure the family is the right fit for how you want your child to be cared for and raised.
Not signing until you are ready, and in NC, there is a seven-day waiting period after signing to be sure this is the right choice for you and your child.
Deciding how much contact you want with your child as they grow and staying in touch by email, texting, social media, or visits
Your child is a precious gift. There are times and situations when sharing that gift through adoption can be a blessing for you, your child, and another family.
Adoption is always an option whether you have just given birth, or the baby is weeks, months, or even years old.
To learn more and speak with a NO JUDGEMENT, NO PRESSURE counselor about your situation and what options are available to you, call 1-877-890-4673.
The first child adopted through A Child’s Hope in March of 2000 is Alexis. Her sisters, Savannah and Meghan, are also adopted through A Child’s Hope. The family continues to provide annual updates for each birth mother.
Baby Alexis with mom Beth and dad Steve
Savannah (left), Alexis (center) and Meghan (right)
These girls are typical sisters – enjoying each other one moment and bickering a bit the next. They’ve mastered sharing a bathroom, which speaks volumes!
Alexis is now 20 and starting her junior year of college studying social work. She loves helping others and Hurricanes hockey.
Savannah is 13 and starting 9th grade. She loves all animals, probably more than people. She is a skilled equestrian who also enjoys gardening and cooking.
Meghan is 17 and starting her senior year. She is a 2nd-degree black belt in karate, loves reading, anime and Star Trek.
(from left to right)Lola with her birth father; Lola’s adoptive parents Mike & Jennifer; Alyssa with 1st daughter Lexi
Alyssa was 22 when she found out she was pregnant with her second child. She was already caring for her first daughter Lexi. “My first daughter was a toddler still and I was neither emotionally nor financially ready to care for a second child,” Alyssa shares. Like every mother, she was worried. “Both of them deserved the best love and care available to them, whether or not it was by me.”
Now with a new bundle of joy on the way, Alyssa needed to take a hard look at the future.
While pregnant, she contacted A Child’s Hope and met with an adoption counselor to discuss placing her unborn child, Lola, for adoption. “I decided that an adoption plan was best for my family because it provides the true love and attention both daughters deserve.”
When asked if she struggled with the decision, “the hardest part of the process was the week after leaving the hospital. I wrestled with whether I might be capable of taking care of both Lola and Lexi. It was good to know that I had a few days after Lola’s birth to change my mind. However, I stuck with my original decision.”
Alyssa goes on to say, “I have never felt I made a mistake in choosing adoption. I never doubt that Lola is loved and cherished to the fullest and that has strengthened my conviction that I made the right choice.”
Alyssa was 22 when she found out she was pregnant with her second child. She was already caring for her first daughter Lexi. “My first daughter was a toddler still and I was neither emotionally nor financially ready to care for a second child,” Alyssa shares. Like every mother, she was worried. “Both of them deserved the best love and care available to them, whether or not it was by me.”
Now with a new bundle of joy on the way, Alyssa needed to take a hard look at the future.
While pregnant, she contacted A Child’s Hope and met with an adoption counselor to discuss placing her unborn child, Lola, for adoption. “I decided that an adoption plan was best for my family because it provides the true love and attention both daughters deserve.”
When asked if she struggled with the decision, “the hardest part of the process was the week after leaving the hospital. I wrestled with whether I might be capable of taking care of both Lola and Lexi. It was good to know that I had a few days after Lola’s birth to change my mind. However, I stuck with my original decision.”
Alyssa goes on to say, “I have never felt I made a mistake in choosing adoption. I never doubt that Lola is loved and cherished to the fullest and that has strengthened my conviction that I made the right choice.”
Part of her adoption plan included choosing and meeting the family that would raise Lola. “In choosing a family, I was looking for financially stable parents with a large supportive family and friends base. Being a military child, I really wished I had big family get-togethers growing up.”
Ultimately, she chose Mike and Jennifer to raise Lola. Together, they decided on having an open adoption with regular updates and visits. “I have an ongoing relationship with the adoptive parents and they have always share pictures with both the birth father and me. They clearly love and adore Lola and have no qualms about sharing that with us.”
This arrangement has worked out well for Alyssa. “We all visit together every couple of months. Mike & Jennifer usually let us know when they will be in town. We meet for ice cream or lunch. It’s great for the girls to play together and for the adults to talk with one another.”
While every adoption situation is different, each is based on loving and providing the best future for the child. If you are wondering if adoption is right for your child, call our Pregnancy Hotline: (877) 890-4673 or text “Pregnant” to (919) 971-4396. An adoption counselor in your area will gladly meet with you to discuss your options. There is NO JUDGEMENT and NO PRESSURE. We all want the same thing you want, the best life for your child.
Whether we agree with the policies, wearing a mask is something we are all dealing with, including our children.
It can be a big struggle with younger children. Behavioral Interventions and Solutions offer a great infographic in English & Spanish on ways to help your child be more accepting of wearing a mask when it is necessary.
On Mother’s Day Adam & Kate share their story of adoption with Spectrum News reporter Anton Day.
Jacob was born during the beginning of COVID Pandemic when rules and policies were changing daily. Only one parent was allowed in the hospital to see Jacob and had to be screened multiple times. This means Adam did not get to see his new son for several days.
This is the second child Adam & Kate have adopted. Their first son, Anthony, is 2-years old.
A. Yes. In most counties of North Carolina are allowing filings the courts are now open, doing virtual hearings as needed.
Q. Will I be all alone at the hospital?
A. In North Carolina, we see hospitals allowing only the pregnant woman and ONE support person in the labor and delivery room. The adoptive parents are being allowed to care for the child during hospitalization after passing COVID protocols.
Q. Is there financial assistance for mothers during COVID-19?
A. Yes, we are offering more support. There are additional stressors on birth mothers due to unemployment and other critical logistics, such as fewer Uber drivers providing transportation services.
We can be flexible in how financial support is provided. We pay landlords directly, hotels by the week, and can even offer some housing expense reimbursement to your relatives if they take you in during your pregnancy.
When an Uber is not available, we are offering gas money/cards to reimburse friends or family members who provide transportation.
In addition, North Carolina law allows up to six weeks of support after delivery. So, we can help you get situated after you leave the hospital.
Q. When should I reach out to an agency about adoption for my baby?
A private adoption plan gives you choices about the family, as well as contact details between you, the family and the child as they grow.
The more notice an agency has, the more help we can give in terms of answering questions and making the process go smoothly. But, we will gladly work with you on an adoption plan at any time. We can quickly respond when childbirth is imminent, matching you with one of the nearly two dozen waiting families ready to bring a child into their home.
If you suspect that the Department of Social Services may get involved after your child is born because you are homeless or the baby may test positive for drugs, we encourage you to make your adoption plan as soon as possible, before delivery. Once DSS is involved, it is harder to make a private adoption plan and have choices regarding the family that cares for your child.
Q. Can I safely find and meet with the adopting parents?
A. Birth mothers traditionally locate an adoption agency or adoptive parent profiles through the internet. Fortunately, the internet is Coronavirus safe. All of our waiting families are listed on our website for birth parents to review. See the Family Profiles page.
At A Child’s Hope, we provide three ways for birth mothers to contact us. They call the pregnancy hotline at 877-890-4673, text Pregnant to 919-971-5663, or email admin@achildshope.com. The hotline operator then communicates with the birth mother and talks her through the process.
After the initial discussion, one of our eight adoption counselors spread throughout the state works with the mother. They communicate via phone, meet virtually, as well as arrange in-person meetings. We ask that masks and worn, but we can meet.
We provide the same options for match meetings with adoptive parents. They can occur virtually or in-person practicing proper social distancing and wearing masks.
Q. The courts are closed. Are adoptions still happening in NC?
A. Yes. Most counties in North Carolina are allowing filings at the courthouse, which means adoption files are being opened and processed. At A Child’s Hope, we filed three adoption petitions in March – having the adoptive parents sign the petitions in a sterile office environment in the presence of a notary. We then file the paperwork in designated boxes located at the courthouse to prevent attorneys and staff from going into the Clerk’s office.
Q. Are hospitals letting adoptive parents into delivery rooms?
A. In North Carolina, we see hospitals allowing only the pregnant woman and ONE support person in the labor and delivery room. Also, during the COVID crisis, North Carolina hospitals are only allowing ONE of the adoptive parents to care for the child during hospitalization That parent needs to stay with the child throughout the hospitalization – they cannot come and go from the hospital.
For example: during the COVID crisis, there was a baby who was in the NICU for ten days after delivery. The hospital allowed the adoptive mother to stay in the NICU during that time. The adoptive father was able to see pictures through messaging but did not hold the baby until after discharge.
Q. How are women with an unplanned pregnancy finding out about adoptive parents during this pandemic?
A. Birth mothers traditionally locate an adoption agency or adoptive parent profiles through the internet. Fortunately, the internet is Coronavirus safe. All of our waiting families are listed on our website for birth parents to review. See the Family Profiles page.
At A Child’s Hope, we provide three ways for birth mothers to contact us. They call the pregnancy hotline at 877-890-4673, text Pregnant to 919-971-5663, or email admin@achildshope.com. The hotline operator then communicates with the birth mother and talks her through the process.
After the initial discussion, one of our seven adoption counselors spread throughout the state works with the mother. They communicate via phone, meet virtually, as well as arrange in-person meetings in open spaces such as parks or our sanitized agency offices. We ask that masks and gloves be worn, but we can meet.
We provide the same options to match meetings with adoptive parents. They can occur virtually or in-person practicing proper social distancing and wearing PPE.
Q. Has the type of financial assistance to birth mothers changed during COVID-19?
A. Yes, we are offering more support. There are additional stressors on the birth mothers due to unemployment and other critical logistics, such as fewer Uber drivers providing transportation services.
We see more acute housing needs – shelters are often full so hotels are being used for housing. In addition, the stay-at-home order is affecting the length of support necessary after childbirth. Fortunately, North Carolina law allows up to six weeks of support after delivery.
We can be flexible in how financial support is provided. We pay landlords directly, hotels by the week, and suggest that birth mothers see if a relative will take them in for a fee. We are also able to offer gas money, instead of Uber fare, to reimburse friends or family members who provide transportation.
Q. Is there any change in when birth mothers are contacting agencies?
A. Yes, we are getting more calls from women in the early stages of pregnancy, as well as those close to delivery or at the hospital. Adoption agencies such as A Child’s Hope are well prepared to work with all timeframes.
The more notice an agency/family has, the more help we can give in terms of answering questions and making the process go smoothly. But, we will gladly work with a woman who chooses an adoption plan at any time. We can quickly respond when childbirth is imminent, matching mothers with one of the nearly two dozen waiting families ready to bring a child into their home.
Q. Is now a good time to contact an agency about becoming adoptive parents?
A: Yes. We are able to offer virtual education classes and consult with you remotely.
Families whose life is stable and are healthy can use this time to investigate and meet with agencies and plan a future course of action. It takes approximately 90 days to process a family, so they are eligible to adopt a child – conducting a home study, creating their adoption profile and website, as well as completing the education classes.
Q. Does this mean interstate and international adoptions, as well as fertility treatments and surrogacy, are still happening?
A.Not entirely. Travel restrictions internationally have all but closed down international adoptions, as well as international surrogacy. Within the US, air travel is quite limited so that out-of-state adoptions can be difficult.
Families who adopt interstate during this time are finding that driving is easier than flying, but it is also a time issue. Moreover, once you are in a hotel in another city where you can go while waiting for ICPC clearance is limited, and many restaurants are not offering food services.
