Education

OPENNESS IN ADOPTION: FROM SECRECY AND STIGMA TO KNOWLEDGE AND CONNECTIONS

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A major new report depicts just how extensively adoption in the U.S. has changed over the last several decades – from a time when it was shrouded in so much secrecy that birth and adoptive families knew nothing about each other, to a new reality today in which the vast majority of infant adoptions are “open,” meaning the two families have some level of ongoing relationship.

The institution of adoption has made significant strides in the last several decades, but elements of its clandestine, stigmatized past remain – and, as a consequence, so do many myths, misconceptions and inaccurate stereotypes. One stark example is that even though openness in adoption is fast becoming the norm within the United States (especially in the placement of infants), the very notion of “open adoption” – which entails varying levels of ongoing connections between adoptive families and their children’s families of origin – is unfamiliar, misunderstood and even incomprehensible to much of our culture.

To read this entire article go to: http://bit.ly/UbqzNt

Authors: Deborah H. Siegel, Ph.D. and Susan Livingston Smith, LCSW
Published: 2012 March, New York NY: Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute

 

Do you have a story you’d like to tell?  Email us at ach@achildshope.com.  Visit us at www.AChildsHope.com, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

Saying Hello Before Saying Goodbye…

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You will be saying goodbye to your baby.  We encourage you to say “hello” and spend time with your baby before you place him or her with the adoptive family you have chosen.  Time in the hospital can be used to feed him or her, change, sing, snuggle, and rock your baby.  However you wish to spend this time is up to you! Many birth mothers ask for 24 hours to be with the baby just by herself, and take pictures. We encourage you to bring a special outfit for the baby and dress him or her. You do not want to regret later on not having that special time.  Birth mothers who take the time at the hospital to be with their child have a very precious memory that stays with them forever.

Do you have a story you’d like to tell?  Email us at blog.ach@foryourlife.com.  Visit us at www.AChildsHope.com, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

It’s all in the name!

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Birth parents have every right to name the child during the pregnancy and to keep that name in their hearts.  And that name will be reflected on the birth mother’s copy of the birth certificate.  In fact, most birth mothers do choose a name and refer to the baby by that name.

Although adoptive parents have a legal right to choose the name that will be on the final birth certificate, the trend now is for the birth parents and the adoptive parents to talk to each other about the baby’s name. Often the final name is something that everyone has discussed.

We see many adoptive parents choose one of the birth mother’s names for the baby’s final name, and we also see a lot of babies that are given a name that honors the birth mother or birth father – such as using a birth parents’ name as part of the final name.

I remember receiving my oldest son’s original birth certificate when he was three months old and realizing that his birthmother had chosen the name Joseph Anthony. How I wish I had known what she had chosen for him, because it would have been beautiful to give him that name! Sometimes when he looks at me, and I see her long eyelashes in his eyes and his full eyebrows, I think, “Joe Anthony, you are beautiful, just like she is!”

Do you have a story you’d like to tell?  Email us at blog.ach@foryourlife.com.  Visit us at www.AChildsHope.com, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

Special Babies Deserve and Get Special Parents with Adoption!

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Every woman about to give birth worries about whether the baby will be born safely and healthy! And most babies are born safely and healthy. When you are making a plan to place your baby for adoption, it is normal to worry that the adoptive parents you have chosen may not accept your baby if he or she is born with a defect.

Do not worry! There s always a loving, caring home for your baby. Most adoptive parents bond with the baby before birth so any health problems are accepted. And because so many tests are now done before the baby is born, it is rare for a baby to be born with a serious health condition that doesn’t show up on the tests. But when there is a baby born with a serious health problem that the adoptive parents feel they cannot provide care for, there is always another great family ready to step in and love the child!

Babies have been placed for adoption when they were born with severe brain damage, serious heart defects, and other birth defects that require years or sometimes a lifetime of special care. Regardless of your baby’s health at birth, he or she will be loved and cherished for life if placed for adoption!

Do you have a story you’d like to tell?  Email us at blog.ach@foryourlife.com.  Visit us at www.AChildsHope.com, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

When Do I Tell My Child?

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One of the questions we hear at lot at A Child’s Hope is, “When do I tell my child he or she is adopted?”  It’s a question that deserves serious consideration.

 For the most part, gone are the days when adoptees reach adulthood before being told they are adopted. Nowadays adoptive parents are encouraged to talk to a child from the start about being adopted. There is a story well known in adoption circles about an adoptive family leaving the agency office with a beautiful baby on placement day. The adoptive parents turn to the adoption social worker and ask “When should we tell him he’s adopted?” The social worker laughs and says, “On the way home!” At A Child’s Hope, we believe in open adoption.  The birth parents know who the adoptive parents are; the adoptive parents know who the birth parents are.  And most importantly, the child knows who the birth parents are as well.  Most adoptive parents use some of the popular adoption children’s books to explain the adoption connection. Actress Jamie Lee Curtis penned one of the most famous books, “Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born.”   Birth mothers are encouraged to write letters to the child they are placing and to also consider doing a Lifebook, which is a scrapbook telling the child about his/her biological roots.
We’re here to help at A Child’s Hope.  Do you have a story you’d like to tell?  Email us at blog.ach@foryourlife.com.  Visit us at www.AChildsHope.com, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

Please remember that this is a public site open to anyone; therefore, anything you post can be seen by anyone.

Birthmother Hotline: (877) 890-4673

Envia Un Texto: (919) 218-6270

Text: Pregnant to (919) 971-4396