When Do I Tell My Child?

One of the questions we hear at lot at A Child’s Hope is, “When do I tell my child he or she is adopted?”  It’s a question that deserves serious consideration.

 For the most part, gone are the days when adoptees reach adulthood before being told they are adopted. Nowadays adoptive parents are encouraged to talk to a child from the start about being adopted. There is a story well known in adoption circles about an adoptive family leaving the agency office with a beautiful baby on placement day. The adoptive parents turn to the adoption social worker and ask “When should we tell him he’s adopted?” The social worker laughs and says, “On the way home!” At A Child’s Hope, we believe in open adoption.  The birth parents know who the adoptive parents are; the adoptive parents know who the birth parents are.  And most importantly, the child knows who the birth parents are as well.  Most adoptive parents use some of the popular adoption children’s books to explain the adoption connection. Actress Jamie Lee Curtis penned one of the most famous books, “Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born.”   Birth mothers are encouraged to write letters to the child they are placing and to also consider doing a Lifebook, which is a scrapbook telling the child about his/her biological roots.
We’re here to help at A Child’s Hope.  Do you have a story you’d like to tell?  Email us at  Visit us at, or call our Birth Mother Hotline at 1-877-890-HOPE (4976) so one of our adoption counselors can answer your questions confidentially.

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